What I saw before my eyes,
is a magic faeryland,
As it appeared to my surprise,
It seemed so wonderfully grand.
My heart just soared into the sky,
Past the sun the moon the clouds,
As I ventured down the valley i'd forgotten how to cry.
It was like an oldfashioned themepark except there weren't any crowds.
But when I realised I was doomed to stay
Al though this place was full of song and grace
I fell in a faint in utter dismay
As I rose the next morning with the wind on my face
I discovered that I had been moved to a whole different place.
I missed all my family also my friends
This was something that magic could not make amends.
As the days went on in this cursed castle
I discovered the more I did the more I caused hassle
I drifted to slept in in that terrible bed
I woke the next mornig at home a faery had relieved me of the terrible dread.
A contest entry
- Ages 13 and Under ONLY - Amaze us with your talents! by Amunet Wolfbane.
300 points, ended March 7, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Many Options! Fairy Tale Style! (For kids 11 and under ONLY!) by EmotionlessStranger.
375 points, ended March 28, 2007, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ages 13 & Under ONLY ~ Prewrite Heaven by Amunet Wolfbane.
525 points, ended August 24, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I want compliments and critisicim
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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The only real thing I would say it to even out your lines a bit so the piece flows better when you read it and some lines are not so long as others are short
Other than that, I really like this 
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very well done!
I wouldn't like beingstuck in an empty amusement park either..
besst of luck! xo -
Very creative and well done
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this shows creativeness and great iagantion throughout this one with lovelyy images and stayed with your thoughts from the picture I enjoyed the read and good job abd good luck in the contest
love and light,
Blaze
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You have translated the things you saw and felt with the picture very well into this poem
you've done a remarkable job!
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Bravo!
What imagination! What a write! What flowing and rhyming..My dear young poet..You are going places! Keep that mind and pen going dear! Wonderful story in verse...I am excited just reading it! Good luck in the contest! Bravo young star!
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