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The Chaplain On The Satanic Battlefield!

 

The good soldier-pastor kneels on the battlefield
The corpses of the Satanic enemy vanquished
And only the Lord God above knows his heart and mind
He never ceases to pray for the good of his immortal soul
For Jesus Christ is his true and only Salvation
In the hideous cry of battle when heads roll
And guts are blown out of bleeding bodies.
But he always remains smart in his patriotic uniform,
His dog-collar spotless and free from enemy gore!
 
Yet indescribable and gentle feelings of love
Pump out of his heart just as the bullets
Pump out of his machine gun into the enemies' hearts
Sending them to eternal Hades in God's name.
The good soldier-pastor reads his Bible and says his prayers
Loudly in a mighty stentorian voice for all to hear
And he energizes others with his undying devotion to God
Exhorting them to pray and shoot bullets simultaneously
As they grovel before Jesus on the bloody battlefield!

 

 

   

 

                          

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 59 of 59
  • piccola silver member
    August 4, 2008

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    like the bible book of revelation, a bit graphic. Of course I don't remember that book mentioning guts being blown out of bleeding bodies. That's the daily news. Thank you for the entry.


  • Talking Toni gold member
    July 13, 2008
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    You puzzle me...

    I don't mean that disrespectfully, it is just your work can be atken so many different ways so I don't know whether to praise it or criticize it...But at any rate there some very valid points raised but some were also very radical. Thanks for your entryand the best of luck in my contest!!!~~Toni~~


    • Mad Pastor Grovell
      August 1, 2008
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      I suspect you of being a communist-atheist and I have removed my poem from your contest.


  • takemypainaway
    October 30, 2007
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    thought provoking poem!! thanks for entering


  • Shikamaru-Nara
    September 29, 2007

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    I am not a Christian, so this does nothing to make me angry.

    Removed from contest.

    Otherwise, great poem.


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    July 20, 2007

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    Well....
    That's pretty much all I can say, well... I'm certainly not a fan of satanicism, but this write was mildly unique in its kind. Interesting contest idea as well.


  • Fall.Of.Rome
    July 7, 2007
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    If this isn't a satire, I am completely and utterly disgusted and appalled.


  • Quetzalcoatl
    July 7, 2007
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    i take it this was some sort of satire? I wasn't really sure what to think as i read this... some of the imagery was vivid, but the word bullets was used a little much for such a short piece... might want to put a note on here somewhere for readers that are unaware of the circumstance so they know how to take the words


  • Poetrylover15
    July 7, 2007
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    I love your work its very good i love it so much keep it up man huggs

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    July 7, 2007

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    Oh my,whilst the imagery was clear and the depth of devotion ie emotion was clear the reader wonders if this is satirical whilst also not wishing to offend,for the duality of sanctioning the taking of life whilst praying for the lives of others to be saved,for the duality of staying free from mud,blood and gore as if somehow the man of the cloth wears special repellant cloth,for quoting the bible in the battlefield when one of the commandments is thou shalt not kill,these are points to ponder indeed dear poet.
    I have no suggestions to offer but a question which if you have the time and inclination would be interested in your point of view.This is way off tangent from the poem but still it is about belief,is it your belief that Myra Hindly,the mass murderess who took innocent childrens lives,deserved the last rites after supposedly finding catholicism in the corner of her confinement?Again,I assure you no disrespect is intended.


  • amela
    July 7, 2007

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    That was insane!!! OMG! I love that! I had to hold my breath to keep me from laughing hysterically at work!! You never disapoint me pastor!!

    Amela


  • Electric Sunrise Moderators member
    July 7, 2007
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    oh my good god! I read this and all i could picture was rambo dressed as a priest, holy crap thats funny!

    If a priest EVER looks the way i just imagined this, ie: 6 foot 9 with biceps bulging and ammo strapped round his chist screaming "all hail the lord, or the lord shall make it hail" i swear i'll die a happy man.

    Nicely done here pastor


  • Gwenaveira
    July 6, 2007

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    I thought Jesus was more for forgiveness and tolerance than mindless killing and violence... but maybe I'm mistaken...? o.O Also, I thought that murder was considered a bad thing... correct me if I'm wrong.


  • NerdforChrist777
    July 6, 2007
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    Keep this kind of stuff up!!! keep praisin God!


  • XxGoldenxXDawnxX
    July 6, 2007
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    Curse you Grovell!!!


  • rollingzen
    July 4, 2007
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    yawn.... zen

  • skyraider
    July 4, 2007
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    hard hitting poem

    Very good poem. Made me stop and take a double look.


  • bgoub
    July 4, 2007
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    Oh yeah, this (also, did the people below me really get this, or am I stupid?)
    Cheers.

  • bgoub
    July 4, 2007

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    lol, classic stuff, great work on the gold. WE LOVE GOD, SO KILL THEM ALL!!!!!! I can hear the words.
    Good work, entertaining as anything.


  • Balthazar
    July 4, 2007

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    God bless you

    Thank you for this poem you are a living proof that Jesus has done so much in you and this message is excellent and I am proud of you. God is with you and He is honouring you right now and I am so thankful for this message which is the message of peace hope and freedom. One again may the blessing of God fall like rains in your life and your relatives'lives. Love, Balthazar


  • ebaby
    July 3, 2007
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    great message, I loved the way you told this, I really love this message.......For Jesus Christ is his true and only Salvation...........very good!


  • ventus11
    July 3, 2007
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    I loved this poem. you have inspired me to pick up my sword or my machine gun which is the bible and go to war for jesus! I love poets who are unashamed to tell the whole world of their devotion to Jesus. Very good write.


  • Sanguinarius
    July 3, 2007

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    "And yes dear Lord, as far as our enemies go, ignore their heathen prayers so we can blow those little bastards straight to hell....."- Mel Gibson from WE WERE SOLDIERS

    Excelent write you have done here, Keep up the good work ~Bret~


  • nichtmich silver member
    July 1, 2007

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    Praise the Lord and Pass The Ammunition, lol. Funny and just a little bit scary. The title is magnificent, one of those "I just can't pass it up." Really enjoyed the part about pumping love and bullets. Sound like the Southern Baptist Church I grew up in!


  • hellbound shadow
    July 1, 2007

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    it's good

    wow.. wow... this is an excellent poem.. the words mesh quite well the the picture being described good flow and no grammatical errors that I could see well done

  • Lady Dragonwyck
    July 1, 2007
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    Very vivid write.

    Lady Dragonwyck


  • Cyber Artist Moderators member
    June 26, 2007
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    I just love your picture I'm wondering if deep deep down theres some Freudian need to dress in black and wear the collar. Laying prostrate in front of an alter or alter boy whatever.... its all done with your tongue firmly planted in somebody's cheeks


  • Congruence
    June 26, 2007

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    I thought was okay - didn't evoke that emotion in me, it was solid piece, bit laden in places, interesting idea as contest poem go, this is one of the better ones I have read.

  • Revwilliamfoos
    May 16, 2007
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    very good

    thanks for entering
    love the papa


  • Devoted Huntress
    April 23, 2007

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    Wow... I must say this left me absolutely speechless... I must say that it could never be any better... Beautifully written... Well I wish to await more entries into the contest so that then I can decide which goes into the finalist list... but I think that this one may just be in the last round... great write Hun and my you continue to write as beautifully as this one...

  • XxGoldenxXDawnxX
    April 15, 2007

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    AS FOR WAR!!

    I Golden Dawn have declared Holy War upon Pastor Grovell for his rants against my master!! For now there will be no escape, now the gloves are off, now we shall write in opposite worlds!! I send thee a reverse pentagram Grovell, filled with the words of Blasphemy and deciet to totally annoy your Jesus guy and that Jehovah who is no more than a Genie! I deny Christ! GRAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

  • XxGoldenxXDawnxX
    April 15, 2007
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    Yet indescribable and gentle feelings of love
    Pump out of his heart just as the bullets
    Pump out of his machine gun into the enemies' hearts

    ?????

    GAAAH! This love thing is too much! I shall return Pastor Grovell! I shall return!!

    • Mad Pastor Grovell
      April 16, 2007
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      Pastore Grovell has won gold again! The emissaries of Satna are all around me but a pure heart knows another saved soul whem it sees one! Double Hallelujah!


  • Brother Hubbard
    March 27, 2007

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    Blessed art thou Pastor.
    Blessed indeed.
    As a fellow warrior of Jesus I salute you.
    I have held the spear of Christ in my hand for many years now and I have never, until this moment, met anyone whose devotion to Jesus matched my own.
    May God for ever bless our souls with His presence.
    Amen

    • Mad Pastor Grovell
      March 27, 2007
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      May I return your salute? We who see the battle between God and Satan clearly must join together. Jesus has often eased my passage through life and I welcome his holy rod.

  • Talking Toni gold member
    March 17, 2007

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    Christ Has Won The Battle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    You did a marvelous job writing this as we all know Christ will and has in fact already won the battle. And we are watching it play by play as the world continues to turn.I for one am thankful not to be here when the final bloody battle is won and not have to ever face the Anti-Christ. This is thought provoking and challenges one to carefully view their salvation!!!Thanks for entering our contest and good luck to you!!!~~Jacen & Toni~~

    • Mad Pastor Grovell
      March 27, 2007
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      Dear Toni: thank you for your kind comments! Jesus walks the battlefields and will crush the evil infidels and heathen vermin underfoot in God's Holy Name! And when the end days come, they will be decimated!


  • Vae Victis
    March 14, 2007

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    LOL.... thats all i can say.. i dont know what is funnier... the poem or the pic that you have of jesus wearing make-up! Even i must applaud this.. Oh and please do enjoy your meal of milk and honey!


  • a hopeless case
    March 13, 2007

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    One of the best written jokes I have ever read in my entire life. You are really and truly an great man of God. Cough cough cough cough cough.


    • Mad Pastor Grovell
      March 13, 2007
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      I shall enjoy hearing your wails drifting up from Hades as I have a nice meal of milk and honey in eternity.


  • Lace Nightmare
    March 5, 2007

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    Oh, how I ache for you! Jesus wants no murder in his name! One should never put blood on Jesus' hands. I am a Catholic with friends of many religions...and friends with people who have none. And they are all sweet and loving and I care for them immensely. My best male friend was at one point a Spiritual Satanist, but never had I lost love, respect, and friendship toward him. He was wonderful when he was a Catholic, wonderful when he was a Satanist, and wonderful now as a Buddhist. And all my Athiest and Agnostic friends are just as beautiful.

    I respect the fact that you love Jesus, but this message of intolerance and a murderous venegeful savior breaks my heart. Please reconsider. Jesus loves all. He wants you to do the same.

    I do not fear Jesus. I actually do love him, though I'm not so outgoingly religious unless the time is right. I read tarot cards and believe in psychics and spells...and I am fascinated with the strange rituals and taboos of other obscure religion. I even try them if they're simple enough...and yet I feel quite a connection with God and Jesus. Sir, I am bold...and as a bold person...I say I shan't perish in hell no matter how you view me.


    • Mad Pastor Grovell
      March 13, 2007
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      I shall enjoy hearing your wails drifting up from Hades as I have a nice meal of milk and honey in eternity.


      • beth tis sunshine
        June 19, 2007
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        My goodness, Sir, you are a cocky man. Do you not realize that the Lord dislikes cocky men? It is one of the seven deadly sins and it is called Pride. Who but the Lord himself will allow you through the pearly gates? I am more than certain that he does not enjoy hearing one of his own children bashing one of different faith. Sir...the Lord is more accepting of those than you yourself it seems.

        As your user name claims you to be a pastor, would you not be attempting to ask that person their religion and why they are that religion than to be judging them. As the Bible says, "Judge not lest ye be judged thyself." Learn to master your pride and PERHAPS you might one day make it through the gates of Saint Peter. I fear for your soul. I pray for you. I do, however, enjoy your poem, Sir.

        Forgive my intrusion. However, I do wish that you would change your tatics perhaps...I apologize if this has offened you, good Sir, but I have been taught to always speak my mind. Have a good life, Sir, and may God bless you.


        ~Sister Elizabeth of the Sacred Heart Church~

  • bon bon
    March 4, 2007

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    Well what a lovely Christian you are.I have to show this to the ladies at the Women's Insitute tea gathering next week.It's rare to find good Godly poets like you on here.
    I look for ward to reading more of your hymnals.Later though because my Horace needs to do a wee.

    Faithfully Yours in Christ
    Maggie McMac

    • Brother Hubbard
      March 27, 2007
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      Your name sounds a little like Marduk, the Babylonian serpent handler.
      Possibly the very first serpent handler ever.
      I salute you because you are worthy.


    • Mad Pastor Grovell
      March 4, 2007
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      Yes, there are very few of us. I hope Horace has a nice squirt. God bless him.


  • BeautifulButterfly
    March 4, 2007
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    Oh my. You are for real. Forgive my last reply to you.

    • Mad Pastor Grovell
      March 4, 2007
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      I love your wig. Several of my parishioners wear wigs like that and I always thought they were men but now I know better in Jesus' holy name. There is nothing wrong with transvestistism as it is not condemned in the Bible. Only sex-sin results in eternal damnation.


  • Love of a Bullet
    March 3, 2007

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    Of course there is nothing wrong with this. Another perfect work of faith by Allpoetry's resident protagonist. I'm loading up on inspiration, devotion and ammunition as we speak.... and giving the Devil back his sinners, one... bullet... at... a... time.

    God and Heckler and Koch bless,

    ~Das

    • Mad Pastor Grovell
      March 4, 2007
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      Only one clap!!!!! You should clap your hands all day in a joyful outburst of love for Jesus! Or else perish in flames.

      • Love of a Bullet
        March 4, 2007
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        They do, they do. I keep the other four in reserve in case you write something else or in case one of the other Christian authors gets inspired. Just last week I made the mistake of running out of clappy dudes... then someone penned the definative "Oh Little Boys, Jesus Says!" Man I went through a lot of points that day.

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