Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Babe, you're more than just a number

I've got your glittered lies
Coiled around my organs
and your everything I need to breathe
[and everything that's stopping me]

 You melt icecubes in my heart

   So I won't feel the pain

     [When you rip it to shreds]

But I dont need it;;want it;; or use it anyway.

And you'll paint my blood on posty notes

 in delicate shapes

as a reminder of another girl

   you fooled into falling for your shit again

I wasted my time on your eyes

   [But goddam, I could fall head over heels into them forever.]

and I wasted my time on your lies

[Though they sounded so good dripping from your mouth.]

and I'll lace my lips with lip gloss

  Just to feel something against them again.

And maybe when we meet once more

you'll see the mess you created

[Or the one I've always been]

  A tape measure noose around my neck

With no numbers

[Because I'm

so

fucking

 sick

 of numbers.]

Author notes

Shit? Is this right?
Cynical in my opinion
LOVE ya
Kitkat

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • AshliiAsphyxiation
    April 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i love this..
    but found it hard to read, without the spaces..

    but still a good write never the less


  • MysticAngelEyes
    March 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Simply amazing you have such a way of putting your words,they flow together very nicely too. a very nice job.


  • ChildeOfChaos
    March 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Amazing! Cyical but oh so good! This part just blew me away, awesome!
    And maybe when we meet once more
    you'll see the mess you created
    [Or the one I've always been]
    I'm definately bookmarking this, three cheers!


  • x.digital.love.x
    March 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    woweee..... you're great doll, i absolutely l.o.v.e this one!!!!!!

    I wasted my time on your eyes

    [But goddam, I could fall head over heels into them forever.]

    and I wasted my time on your lies

    [Though they sounded so good dripping from your mouth.]

    and I'll lace my lips with lip gloss

    Just to feel something against them again.

    this part was my favorite...this poem is definitely cynical, but its great. i agree, i'm sick of numbers too.
    ::keep the ink flowing and the blood inside::
    ~~Glitter -and- Pills~~


  • Mhyko
    March 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    A winner

    Definitely deserves a place in the finalists. Beautiful use of lurid images, and the manner of putting pain from love is flawless and modern. I give it a three...three applauses.

    <3
    D Thoures

  • darrylblacksr
    March 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Interesting write

    I think this style is very interesting and the content makes you realize that somewhere in your lifetime you were guilty of at least one of these things that you wrote about. Thank you for sharing it with me and good luck in your challenge...


  • sweetpearl
    March 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Love the line:

    "Coiled around my organs"

    and

    "and I'll lace my lips with lip gloss... - ...[Or the one I've always been]"

    --this part stuck out to me. The things we do just to get someone to touch us. I'm really running out of things to say. It's a powerful piece and an enjoyable read.


  • bw43
    March 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    [When you rip it to shreads]

    think you mean "shreds"

    I liked it. I was trying not to view or comment on the contest entries until after and when I clicked this from my a favorites list your author info was "hidden for a fair contest" so ehhh... LoL... I ended up reading and commenting anyway.

    I suppose then I'll have to thank you for your entry and wish you the best of luck....

    I liked this... and yes... lol... it definetely is cynical.


    • Hell In Harmony
      March 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      HA yay. I posted this poem, and my other ap friend ended up asking me to post it in hers too. It was funny<33 yay. Glad you liked.


  • Mildew in PinK tile
    March 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    oh man
    i think im going to cry.
    you wrote my heart too clearly hun.
    but yes this is sadly beautiful.
    no well more then beautiful. its all the dirty pretty words melded into one.

    ♥


    • Hell In Harmony
      March 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Glad that you write.
      I understand how shitty that feels to be going through
      Cheer up
      I love u tonz


  • blemished irises
    March 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "I've got your glittered lies
    Coiled around my organs
    and your everything I need to breathe
    [and everything that's stopping me]"
    "the mess you created

    [Or the one I've always been]

    A tape measure noose around my neck

    With no numbers

    [Because I'm

    so

    fucking

    sick

    of numbers.]"

    i inspired this?
    Wow.
    Hahah ily babeeeey♥
    amaze write.

1 - 13 of 13