I am yours
I am insignificant
like a lone
burnt
match.
I am yours
I am transparent
like a bead
of morning
Dew.
I am yours
I am Hollow
Like the things
you tell
me.
I am yours
I am disposable
like a camera
with pictures
of us.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I enjoyed this, it was structured well and the words fit in perfectly... but did you mean hollow instead of hallow?? sry to ask, but i was curious... I didn't really feel much emotion when reading this though... i was a little bit... neutral towards it... i don't know... but over all i enjoyed it...
keep up the good work...
Luv MDH xoxo
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Good poem. A good read. I have a question: What did you mean by "Hallow?" Were you intending to use "Hollow?" I was just wondering if that indeed was the word that you were meaning to put in there. Otherwise, not a bad piece.
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at first those "I am" repetead for so many times might seem "insignifiant" and without purpose but giving a second reading everything became so much more intriguing and challanging!this poem has power because of it's simple structure!well done!keep up and be creative!
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I am yours
I am disposable
like a camera
with pictures
of us.
i liked it but there is one thing, you are far from being disposable, you are an irreplacable person, keep it flowing -
i liked it!
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really different and amazing
well wrtten
keep up the good work
by
the poet of hearts and beautiful words
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Great poem! I especially loved the last lines:
I am yours
I am disposable
like a camera
with pictures
of us.
It really wraps the poem up in a terrific way, giving the reader the feeling that maybe the narrator of the poem isn't so happy with being 'yours.'
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Thank you, I really appreciate it.
:]
|aiko|
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