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Baby.What.Now?

Your choking on rainbow

beads and gasoline

You swear it tastes like me.

Like alphabet soup that pours your written words down my throat

Did I force it down for you?

&& like your clenching teeth

The vibrations from these speakers,

feel so good against bare skin.

 You leave a melodic scale of bruises along my thighs

--You play me like sweet, sweet music.

I love the way you love;hold;make;break;fuck me [over.]

'Cus I'm your easy-bake dinner

 Eat me up [Before I'm cold.]

All this time I convinced myself

The words I couldn't hear you mutter-

Were sweet.

But can I blame you for playing me

 When I play myself?

You ask me to whisper in three-word sentences.

I only manage a Baby.I.Can't.

  && an Are.You.Disappointed?

but I never said I.love.you

I am just a stain on your sheet

  A kiss on the cheek

   A fuck for the week

 We made meaningless pinkie-promises sealed with sweat

  As we swore to be together [for at least tonight.]

I cross my ♥heart♥ and hoped

                                 & hoped to die

Because I can't decide if love is more than clawing at bathroom stalls

Trying to read my story on the walls

Is love more than

trying to

 Vomit up the heart

     You're not

          even sure

                                          You have...?

 

Author notes

Notice the title is a three-word sentence.
Darlings, I'm not really sure what this is all about
Try to enjoy.


Love,l.o.v.e,yo ur-already/home
Stained angel wings

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 53 of 53

  • PaintedParisPassion
    June 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this was amazing!!!!!! i can definatly see why it has won so many shiny trophies!!! congratulations love.


    But can I blame you for playing me

    When I play myself?

    You ask me to whisper in three-word sentences.

    I only manage a Baby.I.Can't.

    && an Are.You.Disappointed?

    but I never said I.love.you

    I am just a stain on your sheet

    A kiss on the cheek

    A fuck for the week

    We made meaningless pinkie-promises sealed with sweat

    As we swore to be together [for at least tonight.]


    ^^that had to be my favorite part. :]


  • KittieLyyn
    May 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    amazing!!!


  • xToxicxCupcakesx
    May 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a good poem and all but...it didnt rhyme my rules said it had to rhyme so...and you didnt put what I told you to put in the authors box...no one has seemed to do this though so its not that big of a deal now if you were to put it in the authors box I would be amazed seeing as only like 3 people put it there!


  • Aquamarine.
    May 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is an awesome poem i love it.....it expresses great emotion i love it


  • CianLOVES
    May 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is amazing! But be sure to check the rules, I would hate to have to disqualify this! Good luck & thanks for entering my contest x

    • CianLOVES
      May 23, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I feel almost guilty putting you on the final list for this! You've won so much for this poem! But I feel you deserve it! x


  • One Eunique Pixie
    May 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is such a wonderful poem. I think that I am in love.

    There is not alot I can say other than, thanks so much for writing this beautiful piece, so that I have something worthwhile to give a little trophie to


  • Atrophya
    May 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Nicely done. =]


  • forbidden-colour
    May 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This was so impressive,

    Wonderful,

    x


  • Glitter Scar
    May 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wowowowowow.


    im awed.

    I am just a stain on your sheet
    A kiss on the cheek
    A fuck for the week
    We made meaningless pinkie-promises sealed with sweat

    hahah have you been inside my head. thats the perfect passage. I wished h=id written it.

    jeez doll you have talent.
    <33


  • Makemebeauty
    May 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is awesome.
    You really have talent here.


  • AutumnsFlame
    May 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    SWEET... I HATE dirty pretty crap, but I liked this... it was defietly cool poem. I wish you knew what it meant though. Poetry is supposed to have meaning... and you should know that meaning.


  • yesterdaysfeelings-
    May 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    wow.

    this is like. really really extremely awesome. i would pick part of it to show which was my favorite but its like...perfect all together. this is really good. soo. thanks for entering my contest and goodluck!.


  • NeverRegretLove
    May 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    oh my. haha. iL OVE THIS. great great great. unbeliabble and beautiful. exactly whta i wanted to see. thank you so much. good luck darling. =]
    M.e.g.a.n


  • anima bella
    May 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow i love this!

    i really do-
    like i dont even know what to say about it.


  • discardedtears
    April 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    OMFG. This is amazing. Its sad in a way, that I understand this. I really liked this part:

    I am just a stain on your sheet

    A kiss on the cheek

    A fuck for the week

    cuz babe I understand what that feels like. I did it for 3 frigging years. Your piece echoes my anger. Beautiful masterpiece my dear. Keep writing and keep your head up. The strongest emotion is pain. Appreciate it for the truth it brings. Have a good day.


  • AHookerInWonderland
    April 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this was basically perfection. fucking amazing, with the best imagery and putting words to the feelings i know too well. <3

  • DemonBoy
    April 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    AHHH! AHHHHHHH! PERFECT! This is EXACTLY what I was looking for in my contest. thanks so much for entering, i absolutley loved the imagery. It's even in the same style that I like to write in... I'm loving it.

  • Jinxgirl
    April 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i realy like this... obviously it;s been in a lot of contests, lol. the first line about tasting like rainbow beads and gasoline is very effective adn unique.


  • MelissahhMidnite
    April 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I only manage a Baby.I.Can't.

    && an Are.You.Disappointed?

    but I never said I.love.you

    amazing
    fucking amazing
    great job
    wow

    cookies&&[love]

    xXintimateX


  • AshliiAsphyxiation
    April 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    thanks for the entry
    good luck


  • MissAnonymous
    April 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for your entry!


  • JadedxPassion
    April 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Good Choice

    I Liked This! I Especially Liked The Three-Pattern Repeatition (Three's My Favourite Number) This Poem Reminded Me Of A Boy Who Basically Pulls A 'Fuck Em & Chuck Em' On A Girl. It Was Well Done, Very Descriptive and Great Imagery! Thanks For Entering & Best Of Luck.

  • LaurenLightning--x
    April 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Mhmm..

    This is amazing.
    I love dirty pretty.
    I love this poem.
    Just wow.. I don't know what to say.
    The rainbow went through my head as I read this.

    Thank you for entering and Good Luck! =]


  • CarCrashHumor
    March 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "I am just a stain on your sheet

    A kiss on the cheek

    A fuck for the week

    We made meaningless pinkie-promises sealed with sweat

    As we swore to be together [for at least tonight.]

    I cross my ♥heart♥ and hoped

    & hoped to die

    Because I can't decide if love is more than clawing at bathroom stalls

    Trying to read my story on the walls

    Is love more than

    trying to

    Vomit up the heart

    You're not

    even sure

    You have...?
    "

    wooahh.! kat you're amazing.


  • Exodus gold member
    March 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I think it should be well known my now that I enjoy reading all of your poetry. Your imagination creates vivid pictures that the reader can almost reach out and touch. I have to agree, I love the line "I cross my ♥heart♥ and hoped/& hoped to die". It's so simple yet so effective. That and "I love the way you love;hold;make;break;fuck me [over.]" together make an absolutely amazing poem. Thank you very much for entering and best of luck to you


  • Allure of a Rose
    March 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Niiice, I like; I like a lot. xDDD
    Totally loving these here lines:

    "I love the way you love;hold;make;break;fuck me [over.]

    'Cus I'm your easy-bake dinner

    Eat me up [Before I'm cold.]"

    I love the flow of this, and the italicized words were perfect, and a nice change from the p.u.n.c.t.u.a.t.i.o.n. -ev-e-rywh-e-r-e- thing. xD

    Lovely job.

    -Allura


  • makeout kid
    March 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    oh honey,
    this is one of the best pieces i have read by you.
    a.maz.ing.

    [i think i'm having an orgasm]
    && it's all because of you.

    this is fucktastic.
    marry me?

    ♥


  • x.digital.love.x
    March 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    ohbabyohbabeh you kno i loveeelovelove this one, why else would i comment on it again? lol, thanx for entering it into this contest, you kno you amaze me. lalalove you
    ~*tori!*~


  • Mildew in PinK tile
    March 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i know i've commented on this before but i feel i need to again. it deserves high recognition. not only did the way you formed this add to its beauty it just has this all around gritty sugar atmosphere. its sweet and dull at the same time. [not a bad dull though sorry i pick an awful choice of words.] anyway. i love this. have loved it since i first read it and im so glad you entered it in my contest

    love you dollie pie

    ♥

  • x.digital.love.x
    March 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    babybabybaby this was absolutely amazing. great job!!! fantastic poem.

    Your choking on rainbow

    beads and gasoline

    You swear it tastes like me.

    Like alphabet soup that pours your written words down my throat

    Did I force it down for you?

    && like your clenching teeth

    The vibrations from these speakers,

    feel so good against bare skin.

    You leave a melodic scale of bruises along my thighs

    --You play me like sweet, sweet music.

    I love the way you love;hold;make;break;fuck me [over.]

    'Cus I'm your easy-bake dinner

    Eat me up [Before I'm cold.]


    LOVED these stanzas...they rock my [combat] boots. good luck in the contest and thanx for entering.


  • sweetpearl
    March 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Well at least you're finally getting the responses you deserve

    "You leave a melodic scale of bruises along my thighs
    --You play me like sweet, sweet music"

    --this is fucking fantastic. I love the musical aspect of this. This is possibly one of your best. Love the formatting and effective use of italics, bold, and colours. Also this:

    "Eat me up [Before I'm cold.]"

    --I favour it greatly. Fuck I'm brain frozen again, you do this to me!


  • bw43
    March 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I think this is my favorite of yours. I loved it. It was genius... some of your lines... wowsers dear... i love the way you write... I just love it


  • deathrowe3
    March 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Nice

    O.k I guess.
    Only Kidding, good rant.


  • Burmina
    March 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    One of the best glitters I have seen. And I can honeslty say that I am NOT a fan of the style, but this one is a true tribute to all of them out there.

    I wish that I could specify a little more what it is about this write that is able to capture, but I think that there is a completeness about this peice. Your choice and placement of words is amazing, and your glitter isn't overpowering to the reader.

    I certainly think this deserves gold in the contest, and if you dont get it, well- as someone who isn't normally a fan, I can say this is one of the best writes I have seen on AP for a while!

    Keep it up!

    Burmina


  • Lady Altheia
    March 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a fresh approach to the erotica I usually read on this site. You did an excellent job on style. I like the rhythmn of the poem.

  • ShatteredDiamonds
    March 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i love your poems, i have quite a few like this myself.
    there is just something about dark love and tragic romance that makes me want to write, i don't know why, as this is not my life..but maybe i am still venting from my past? who knows? but, anyway, great job and here are applause for you!

  • Mildew in PinK tile
    March 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    encore baby sweets. encore
    this was oh so great.
    you have awfully truthfullness in every line.

    "You ask me to whisper in three-word sentences.

    I only manage a Baby.I.Can't.

    && an Are.You.Disappointed?

    but I never said I.love.you

    I am just a stain on your sheet

    A kiss on the cheek

    A fuck for the week"


  • Crash Into Me
    March 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    && fuck.me-up.baby.just the-right way.

    "The vibrations from these speakers,

    feel so good against bare skin.

    You leave a melodic scale of bruises along my thighs

    --You play me like sweet, sweet music.

    I love the way you love;hold;make;break;fuck me [over.]"

    wow..
    mmmh hmmm who's this one...i want bruises on my thighs..


    "I am just a stain on your sheet

    A kiss on the cheek

    A fuck for the week

    We made meaningless pinkie-promises sealed with sweat

    As we swore to be together [for at least tonight.]"

    baby doll;; ill make all the pinkie-promises that you want as long as it's meaningful..


    "I cross my ♥heart♥ and hoped

    & hoped to die

    Because I can't decide if love is more than clawing at bathroom stalls"

    bathroom stalls are the best..

    your mind is exquisite..
    ♥
    -alexsis


  • ChelsKid
    March 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i love you. :]


  • Vera Jewel
    March 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    It's perfect.


  • Wayne Leon Learmond
    March 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    This is one hell of a piece of work. I love this. I love the flow and the rhythim. Brilliant piece of writing here. We promise each other all sorts of things [ when in the throes of passion ] Keep writing.


  • Saxyncreative
    March 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I completely fell in love with this poem, the emotion behind it was eminent, but the beauty shone through like a full moon... pitch black except for the white light... I like the way you used your punctuation, and the curse words were well used. Congrats on a spectacular write!


  • SliptheFlitch
    March 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    AKLDHSAKFHSDLKFJHSDLFK!!!!!

    I love!!! LOVE lOvE this poem. Its so awesome! Gah! I love your words.
    My favorite, Favorite line was this:

    I am just a stain on your sheet

    A kiss on the cheek

    A fuck for the week


    That was MAGICAL, and no, I mean that seriously. I thought the end was mind fucking blowing. You leave me speechless doll.

    ~Slip~


  • kllaw4
    March 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Well I would have to say it kept me intrested, Its a great wite.. Full of emotions and some anger , that is always a good combo.. I too have a few like that ... I would lik to see more .. Kelly


  • Dead Star--x
    March 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    ooo see now youve knocked my entry off the category! i luv this poem! its so dirty pretty! glamorous but tragic! the best kind...
    lol im so commented out youre my 101 comment today [im going for a one week free gold membership] so root for me! cause i have no life!
    *Abused *


  • blemished irises
    March 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "Your choking on rainbow
    beads and gasoline
    You swear it tastes like me."

    "&& like your clenching teeth
    The vibrations from these speakers,
    feel so good against bare skin.
    You leave a melodic scale of bruises along my thighs
    --You play me like sweet, sweet music.
    I love the way you love;hold;make;break;fuck me [over.]
    'Cus I'm your easy-bake dinner
    Eat me up [Before I'm cold.]"


    Sweetie This is an ...
    I can't even find the words for it.
    The metaphors and the imagery and the
    sheer cold coffee and broken angels of it all.
    you make a whole new meaning to [glitter]
    ilybabbbby&hearts

1 - 53 of 53