Melinda.

I started with one I don't want to leave,
but I lost her.
I started with a second who I don't want to loose,
but shes not here.

I am alone,
sitting at a computer,
typing,
thinking.

I miss my Melinda,
I am alone waiting,
a phone call a knock on the door,
something from my Melinda.

My Pimptress is what makes me happy,
My happiness is all I have good,
With the exception of my Melinda,
Who is my Pimptress.

Alone, I sit,
Alone, I think,
Alone, I am,
but not forevermore.

My Pimptress will come and save me,
she has before without knowing,
she will again without knowledge,
but that is okay.

The one i lost is still around,
shes there for me if i need her,
but she is not with me, nor will be,
for i cannot go behind my Pimptress.

These is my words,
these are my lives,
this is my truth,
And she is my Melinda.

Elizabeth, I lost,
I made mistakes which cost,
I lost her but she is still here,
But not for me.

She is who she wants to be,
She is with who she wants to be,
When she wants to be,
As she wants to be.

I kept her caged up,
But I let her go without a word of retainment,
I wish I still had her sometimes,
But I do not wish to claim her.

I have Melinda,
She is all i need now,
And I shall not make the same mistakes,
Because I have learned my lesson.

To capture,
To hold,
I don't need,
I just want to be with.

Friends,
More then friends,
Partners,
But not necessarily in bed.

She is mine,
But I hold her not,
She has freedoms I do not want to take away,
Because I did that once and lost myself.

I am alone now,
Sitting,
Waiting,
For my Melinda.

I sit alone,
I wait alone,
I think alone,
I sulk in my own pity.

I let not others feel bad for me,
I do not say what is wrong,
But those I am with,
Always know...

They learn my past,
They follow my future,
The stay of they're own choice,
I am just here.

I become they'ers,
I don't try to hold them down,
I have learned my lesson,
And now I am waiting.

This is who I am,
This is what I do,
And I cannot change,
More then needed.

I am going to be here,
and who I am with is choice of who I am,
I ask and hope,
And I let them make they're own decisions.

I do not try to change them,
I accept who they are,
It might seem futile,
but whats need for change?

Change is what lost Elizabeth,
And I have accepted it,
I did not believe it for a long time,
But now I do.

You read my poetry,
You get insight I don't give,
I give it now though,
Because I want the world to know.

This is the way things are,
No need to change them,
If something comes up,
I will accept it.

As hard as it is for me to,
Acceptance is the only way,
The only way to move on,
But the other half is believe.

I don't believe what i have done,
But I did it none the less,
I haven't completely moved on,
And I wont until I believe.

This is a poem,
One for all who have been with me,
Relationship or sex,
It doesn't matter to me.

Those who consider me a friend,
I accept,
But I don't believe,
And I am sorry.

I have problems,
Always have,
Always will,
I accept and believe.

I am useless,
I accept, but I don't Believe,
Because I am useless,
But only to me.

This is my thoughts,
Pure as they flow,
This is how they come,
And I do not change them.

I am here,
So come to me,
If you please,
It is your choice.