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When I Left You Behind

The look in your eyes when
i told you i was leaving broke
my heart into pieces. the last tine i talked to you
i couldnt hear the perpetual laugh
in your voice,the quirk that only i
noticed not even your brother saw the way u speak
the way you bit your lip when you thought
the way you tried to makeevery one laugh even
when you were devastated. i miss you now and forever

Please tell me what you think

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Comments


  • Haperitz
    May 18

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    great

    That sounds like something I'd do. Isn't that how a lot of guys deal with pain, we laugh... Still it is a very good poem and conveys great sorrow and sadness


  • livingItup
    April 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    hey
    this is an amazing. i love it awesome job. such a sad write. good job. ^^


  • Rayn
    March 3, 2007

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    wow, who is it that made such sacrifices? I have to say with an even conscience that they must have meant a lot to you, otherwise I don't think you would have written about them (well, duh). There are a few errors that should probably looked over, but that is not my place. I'm only here to render you my opinion, and I think that you did very well in conveying your emotion. Good job.


  • She burns
    March 3, 2007

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    Awwwww so sad and very touching, the pain and tears, the broken heart, I can picture the broken hearted here, it will just go inside of you.....
    Just so deep and hurting....