Opaque
chilled with calamity.
Drilling a hole in fairy head
is just as easy as a cavity
now a days.
If the tale of happily ever after dissipates
won’t the rash of failure vanish too.
Hormonal repetitions shadow along pumpkin mazes
mocking the way home, as if this were practical.
A cockroach can develop in three months.
lay a hundred eggs and infest
an already kitschy
décor.
Whereas he took time and embellished her with charm.
Played up his qualities and made lofty excuses
for the lack of quantity.
She told herself, in a hazy cliché, this time would be different.
Her knees no longer on the market,
chin soon unfamiliar with protruding breastbone,
perpetual angle of submission.
Permission for computing brainstem activities
would soon be at a disadvantaged distance.
Transparencies are hard to come by
and his solid stoic grip on her psyche
perpetuates the stereotype
the statistic.
Riding herself of common things,
genuine traits, that evolve into personhood.
impenetrable, lusterless hide baked
around vapid frame.
Now this is manageable.
She’ll settle for a cockroach any day
but not while he’s the room.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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wow, so true-
you know that saying 'truth hurts'? well i think you really captured that in the undertone of this, especially with the opening lines.. there are so many thoughts i could form from this, and i love them all..
this is stunning hon.
-S
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Awesome and scatty.
"perpetual angle of submission.
Permission for computing brainstem activities
would soon be at a disadvantaged distance."
This section of the stanza stands out to me because angle of submission is an interesting expression of submission, as aposed to an object of submission or a person making you submit. Thanks for sharing the poem with us. Im not sure I know the fairytale, but i liked it none the less even tho in place it feels a little scatty though i acknowledge this might have been the style you were going for. Take Care.
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Very well done
Riding herself of common things,
genuine traits, that evolve into personhood.
impenetrable, lusterless hide baked
around vapid frame.
Now this is manageable.
this stanza stuck out for me,
you have taken the ever popular fairy tale, given it a twist and made it your own,
this is a great piece, -
Oh wow! I am aways looking for poems based on fairy tales, something about the way people write them really captures me. But this is something else all together.
Your use of words is so well... "other" is the only word I can think of. Where most poems try to hide the complexity of things such as these behind over simplified words you have thrown pretense out the window and it is absolutely wonderful to see!
Thankyou for a truely astounding piece of work. -
I wish I saw more poems like these. Personal and imaginitive, I can see how much thought you put into this. I definitely have to come back to figure it out. Besides that, it seems to have a unique story to it, and of course your almost oddball imagery makes this poem powerful (for what, I'm still figuring out). The inclusion of the cockroach was a nice touch and wrapped up the poem superby.
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i read this a couple times because i like your unique phrasing such as 'perpetual angle of submission' and 'lusterless hide baked'.
'opaque chilled with calamity' is a great opening
i could picture a man ruling a woman, brainwashing her that she's no good.
good writing
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