The soft green grass of the luscious lea
Became a field of needles
When you left me
The white foam crests in the sapphire sea
Became a swirl of sorrow
When you left me
Birds singing in the rowan tree
Became a mocking chorus
When you left me
The heart you gladly gave to me
Became a gaping hollow
When you left me
A field of needles
A swirl of sorrow
A mocking chorus
A gaping hollow
But needles still shine silver bright
A sorrow can be killed
A chorus can be sweet again
And a hollow can be filled
A contest entry
- ♥Wordbank and titles contest♥ by OurxBeginning.
500 points, ended March 25, 2007, 41 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Love the use of the second sentences to create the 5th stanza. That was a really novel idea and helped the rhyme along perfectly. Good work.
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This was so sentimental. You really reached into the heart of a lover's sigh with this. I felt sorrow pour down the tips a young girls lashes and recede into the shore...blankets of ocean, of time, can mend any wound-
BTW you're very beautiful
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Thank you so much for commenting. I wrote this in about a minute after seeing the title. I was thinking of when my husband left me and how everything seemed horrible, even the good things. But now I am happier than ever before so I know the misery can be cured! Thanks again x
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