The Shadows fill this nightly gaze
I look to the stars that fill my days
Whispers remind me of vivid dreams
Hollow graves and a thousand screams
The one I loved, no longer reaches
Laid to rest, broken in pieces
I cut these roots from whence she came
I broke the glass from her picture frame
Shards of pain, the blood so scented
Marks of love, so vain and demented
A withered rose, I have yet to break
Thoughts are blank, what's left to take
I sit at night, next to her grave
Tears flow red, what's there to save
Cracked in two, consumed, and tainted
The mist below chokes till' I've fainted
The blades of glory that blurr these arms
Ashes of descent that murder these charms
Lost everything to a night so frail
The shadows corrode, I inevitably fail
I walked the road that led to black
Walk till' my feet bleed, no turning back
Into the shadows that consumed my life
Into the darkness, wrists to the knife
The shadows that live off every breath
Surrendering my past to shadows of death...
In a list
A contest entry
- Sadistic Emotions by Never Fall in Love.
650 points, ended April 11, 2007, 76 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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First of all
congrats on thr trophy
the poem deserved it anyway
this was really good
completely fillled with emotion
and effective enough to keep the reader reading till the ending was amazing
and fitted the poem properly
great job!
Keep it up
~Miraculous~
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Oh, this is excellent! Very deserving of the gold trophy in the contest.
The flow of the poem is wonderful, as is the rich language and rhyme. Both the imagery and the emotion pulled me into the poem right away...so often a piece even this long will drag towards the middle, but I didn't feel that at all. Great job and congratulations!
Best wishes,
~J.
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The shadows that live off every breath
Surrendering my past to shadows of death...
You ended this painful write perfectly. Incredible! The last two lines are flawless. Good luck!
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Wow
This was painfully beautiful...
Each line pierces the reader like a knife as we read along, it's very deep.
My favorite stanza:
"The one I loved, no longer reaches
Laid to rest, broken in pieces
I cut these roots from whence she came
I broke the glass from her picture frame"
The last line fits so perfectly, and everything rhymes beautifully.
This is the best poem I've read of yours, by far.
Good luck in the contest!
♥ Lacey
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Damn Damn Damn
Awesome write bro!
this was really really good
I loved this writeShards of pain, the blood so scented
Marks of love, so vain and demented
A withered rose, I have yet to break
Thoughts are blank, what's left to take
This is the same writing I fell in love with when I met you
Really great job
I'd tell you good luck in the contest
but you don't need it
wait a minute ...
My contest?
damn
well well my darling brother
Congrats on reaching the finalists lists :P
Love ya
Your ap Sis :f
NeveR ♥ Humungous (sp?) heart just for ya
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I loved this it was really good but very sad anyway very well written
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