A weight lifts off my shoulders
But still weighs down in my head
Sleep hasn't come enough so far
I wander too far from my bed
You see, I think of life so much
And death, from time to time
This is how my thoughts come out
And I speak just like some mime
Surrounded by a loving folk
Who tell me all their thought
I keep them close to my heart
But lose what I have sought
Someone close by to give me peace
Who can ease my troubled mind
In the meantime, while I lie awake
I shall see what I can find
Author notes
Ok, so I broke up wth my long-time boyfriend. But life still continues as normal for anyone. Meaning with complications. But no one close by will hear my out, only let me do it for them. Meh, life goes on. I pay someone to listen to my thoughts.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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very good
did you get back together? and i am sorry i didn't read this onme sooner. it is long and long since i have been here in this world of words.
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*clap clap*
Well rhymed, and I can think of hardly any criticism save that the last line of the second stanza seemed strange for some reason. True, the way that words fall upon deaf ears make one feel like a mime, but I'm not sure it works...Though I have nothing better, so as it stays, the line grows on me. Still and all, the content of the poem, though sorrowful, seems somehow apathetic. Maybe it's just the author's notes afterwards that lend it that particular feel, as the ending certainly is hopeful. I suppose I don't really know what to feel about this poem.
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zwar
Aww Kik, I'm sorry you broke up with alex (it seemed like he made you really happy), but if you feel better now that You have broken up with him(?), well then I'm glad you did break up with him. And I will listen to what you have to say, you know that darling.
I love you!
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