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A search for morality

The inevitable abduction, a release from reality,
the minds apprehension, can't find normality,
searching for morality, beyond our comprehension.


Construction, production,
the world a man destroys,
Destruction.

Little boys and their deadly toys.
Power an obstruction.
You can hear fearful cries
cries of hopes demise
clear in background noise.


We look for minds abduction, as we drift from reality,
to a state of abnormality, so reality can abstain
take the trip again and illuminate normality,
the knowing from our brain.
The release a seduction, a minds distraction,

from a war like action.
Lives of destruction.


The inevitable abduction,

a release from reality,
searching for morality.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Intravenous Jesus
    July 17, 2007
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    Thanks for entering my contest. I love the rhyme and meter to this piece.


  • soulfultia gold member
    June 19, 2007

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    I can see why a shiney is hanging proudly onthe page, this had a wonderful flow and rhythm to it, they rhyme was pulling, just kept me rolling right through the read, ahhhh, read it twice I had a write not to far off the rhythm of this piece, just words bouncing out and forming an excellent read. Great work and my pleasure to read ~Tia


  • six of diamonds
    June 13, 2007

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    I like the way you use your words.

    The lines "little boys and their deadly toys" and the the rhyme "You can hear fearful cries/cries of hope's demise"
    are especially good


  • Rianna Bear
    March 3, 2007

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    Ah! great! I love the repetition of the -ion words. It made the whole thing mesh so well together. I don't know, but for me, i could not help but to picture the "Little boys and their deadly toys" being the young soldiers out there in Iraq, but that's just my interpretation.
    This is a great piece!
    *R


  • CarolDesjarlais silver member
    March 2, 2007

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    A good strong write...to some, to numb onceself from reality works best...how we numb it is what is important...we have have our ways to deal with raw reality.


  • dreamfinder
    March 2, 2007

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    I like the intense thought throughout the work here. You use words that aren't just simply ingested, you have to think It's good


  • Barely Breathing gold member
    March 2, 2007

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    Wow. This is great writing here. Very different style and such a very strong message. I thought you put this across extremely well and very emotionally. Well done for this brilliant piece.


  • BabyBun silver member
    March 2, 2007
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    Nice work

    I enjoyed this. The title was spot on and it flowed very well on the page.


  • leahcullen
    March 2, 2007

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    Hi there, this is the first poem of yours that I have read. And I LOVED it!!!! The first two lines grabbed me, I loved :
    "The inevitable abduction, a release from reality,
    the minds apprehension, can't find normality,
    searching for morality, beyond our comprehension."
    I think it say's so much. And you're right, we never learn from past mistakes......it's so obviouse yet no one in power seems to see it yet!! Great write. I loved it. Well done.
    Luv,
    Lee

  • Climbing2nothing
    March 2, 2007

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    Well done write here, "the greatest fear humanity has is not that we are impotent to do nothing, it is that we are all powerful and don't realise it" this quote just sort of popped into my head, the theme of abduction is also very well used reminds me of a plea to the spirit/dream land for an answer that we cannot find like an alien dimensional angel communion or as the reality does also linger death -release seduction a minds distraction- and so deeper in the spiral this is also a distraction, for fear of death hides the light in life 'careful dear you'll catch a cold' leading to neumonia, anways you have winded my minds wings AND SO I THANK you kindly for loves battle to revolution


  • dustookie2
    March 1, 2007

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    We are slow to learn from our past mistakes while I was reading your lines that old Barry Mcguire song got into my head.....All the death and down grading of man of our society we have lost our way and need to look at where we are. You have portrayed a vivid image that flow well for me it really has a lyrical feel I like the ending we really do need to find the morality of mankind Thank you for your wise thought provoking post A pleasure but more an inspiration for the betterment of the people in the world Good luck

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