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Vain.

pretty metal faces
concealing war wounds
metal masks for the war cripples
it is you,
the man without a mouth
without eyes to see
it is me,
the prostitute
with jaundiced skin
and beautiful blank eyes
that festers
and palpitates
underground.

you are my son!
and my father!
my christ!
my demon!

we are the dead on leave
apparently,
jesus saves
but not the paramedics here
[my heart is seizing

searing, my head crackling
in response to
you].

chill and dirty white
the dawn spreads its legs,
to us
[watch accuse to sex].

you are my vulnerable moment
fleshy and sensitive
as a newborns head
you beautiful man
metal mask for you,
war cripple,
pretty metal faces
[you are my son
my father
my christ
my demon].

miles and miles of white crosses
they could have been jews ...

the mask of a king
[as all of your men]
with lolling heads,
trench eyes
skull
clean and polished
a soldier's head
[you are
my son].

don't forget barbed wire
don't forget the ribs, the rapes
do not smoke them in your pipe
if you forget
my insanity, my pretty face
all is in vain.

Author notes

Inspiration:
WWI
Mr. Manson.

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • untitled.
    August 1, 2008

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    Exceptional

    I realized I did not leave my mark on this specific, little beauty, so... Here goes.

    First off, LOVE the Manson. And this piece resonated with a lovely blend of his unique voice, and yours. Absolutely abstract, and luscious imagery. Of course, you know I loved the word play, ^_^.

    I can't really explain this, but... it seems monotonous (not in a bad way), and yet holds so much emotion, so much... everything. A maelstrom of broken shards and tears, explosions of past and rekindled insanity. Beautiful in its morbidity. As always, you make my heart swell. Keep writing, dear. Miss you something fierce. <3

    To infinity and beyond,

    Your dorky, mentally disoriented friend,

    ~Stephy


  • Abbey Normal
    March 4, 2007

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    This has a unchained powerful energy in it. Often in your writing I feel the words rage, radiate with an unknown passion. It's present here, and as I read this piece I felt such an intense energy. It's global too... not just localised to the person you write of, but onward to a bigger picture... significant moments in history.

    "you are my son!
    and my father!
    my christ!
    my demon!"

    That gives me shivers. It's universal. This person becomes all encompassing... everything all in one.

    I'm amazed.


  • Seltz
    March 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    pretty metal faces
    concealing war wounds
    metal masks for the war cripples
    it is you,
    the man without a mouth
    without eyes to see
    this awesome it is true we all hide behind
    masks to hide who we really are!!!!!!wonderful work sir bravo, bravo


  • Barbara gold member
    March 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Great imagery and description in this. I like the parts in the brackets... sort of like a whispered addition to bring the thought in another direction, yet keeping it on the same path as the poem itself.


  • CoveredInTheBlood
    March 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    It is a very good poem i am slightly speechless as to what to say for this.


  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    March 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very good piece. It has a strong base and the imagery is well done. Excellent job here.


  • autumns rising
    March 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    just really really good. I dont know what to say


  • Peteskid gold member
    March 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    a message in layers

    the writing here takes on a challenge of two layers of ideas and both come across well in a compelling protest against the ruin of war to people, soldiers, groups..victims of many descruptions...very powerful


  • CrimsonRain1313
    March 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    the aftereffects. the desturction. the pain. such power and emotion you write with. truly a write from the soul, my friend. this is stunning. passion seeps from each line, into the depths of my mind. i love it.
    keep up the writes.
    beautiful piece of art.
    Peace && Blesses
    ~Rain


  • Debbysmiles gold member
    March 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This piece runs smack into ya and then bounces back to slap you again with the realities of war and life. It is so full of sorrow and absolute pain all while saying don't pity me; I am still here. This is very well written, profound.. excellent ! Blessings. Debby


  • carpe diem
    March 1, 2007
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    amazing

    You really made me feel what you were talking about.good job my friend.It has depth.:]


  • yellingstreetnut
    March 1, 2007

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    i didnt get this but i could sense the passion you put into it and that really won me over passion is everything if the writer isnt feeling it noone is
    nice <3

  • pruedence
    March 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The left overs of war...reaching out to the ones forever injured within there hearts and souls...there bodies all mangled...yet the mind must go on...love them the same...they let us be free...I love this work you had done here...it says alot..its deep yet right in front of you at the same time..thanks for sharing


  • Loud Whisper
    March 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Fantastically done. I sense both sorrow and desperation within the words you so wonderfully wove together. This work makes you stop and think most definately. It makes the reader feel that nothing is worth what they experience (at least me anyway), however untrue that is. Life is so worth the pain that one comes across. There is something better out there. One must reach out. Well done.


  • Cooter
    March 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very well done and insanely indepth.

1 - 15 of 15