Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

God's World Tour II--(Part #2)
GOD'S WORLD TOUR II--(PART #2)
(SHAKESPEAREAN SONNET VERSION)
 
    Utter wonderment--What's this "Evolve...Just evolve?"
    If  not to hear it, we'd not believe our eyes.
    Here was God, and in lieu of miracles and sins to absolve,
    he simply blew us off to everyone's surprise.
 
    Pink Elvis Caddy, God and entourage split the scene.
    Halo'ed trooper red caps lead the escape route.
    God flashes a "V" sign in passing flashbulb glean
    leaving us behind, Doubting Thomases without doubt. 
 
    We question if God ever truly touched one of us,
    and if he did, was it but once--Maybe twice?
    Was God only hoopla, much ado, too much fuss?
    Disrespect is human nature--Who's God to criticize?
 
    And the atheists harken, oh-so very much impressed--
    No God now re-affirmed and confirmed and addressed.
 
(3/1/07)
 
 

Author notes

PART #1 POEM-POST LINK:
http://allpoetry.com/poem/2604828

The Shakespearean Sonnet is written to a rhyme-scheme of ABAB, CDCD, EFEF, GG...The final GG couplet to be somewhat a "kicker" close to the poem's theme overall.

This is the very first sonnet I've ever written--I'll never-ever get to Poetry Heaven!!!

IMAGE CREDIT:
http://www.gifs.net

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • RatherImaginative silver member
    August 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Several of the lines in your sonnet have more syllables than they should. The Shakespearean sonnet requires 10 per line in iambic pentameter. You'll have lots of time to edit. For your first effort, though, this is good, and very thought provoking. Thanks so much for entering my contest!


    • NoWayJo
      September 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I didn't realize the syllable-count per line, only the line-count and rhyme scheme Rather. Thanks for letting me know...Maybe someday I'll be an expert or at least somewhat Shakespearean by this form!

      Enjoy the contest!

      Jo


  • Hebz
    June 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    WOW!!

    Awesome write!! Love it all

    Thanks alot for entering my contest & best of luck

    GloriousGift
    Heba


  • sheltered
    March 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Yea, i'm resonably sure your going to poetry hell for this one [shakes head in shame] and it's a nicely written poem. Repent! Repent! Maybe it's not too late?... Hehehe. Seriously though, very nicely rhymed and origional.


  • Heart Sutra
    March 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is fascinating. I like it when poets takes on the challenge of writing about God in a not so common way...and in a sonnet it to boot! Well, now you are getting into my favorite way to play with tradition...be a bit of rebel within the walls. Good luck in the contest.

  • Uriah Hamilton
    March 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I dig God if he's real or not, the Byrds say it best, Jesus is just alright with me.
    Uriah


    • NoWayJo
      March 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for these comments, Uriah...and it was the Byrds that sang that song? The song had actually run through my mind at the time I wrote Part #1, but I kept thinking it was the Doobie Brothers. Maybe it was both of 'em but years apart...

      Thanks again for your comments...

      Jo


  • janejainejayne gold member
    March 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Brava!

    Dear Jo, Perhaps I missed the whole point...The pink cadalic grabbed my attention but the message was very real to me! I loved it!

    God flashes a "V" sign in passing flashbulb glean
    leaving us behind, Doubting Thomases without doubt.

    I pray every day that God never leave me in the dust and burns rubber....I also wouldn't blame hime for doing it! Brava! You are always a genuine original!!! Jane


    • NoWayJo
      March 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      You're the sweetest, Jane. This poem's actually a Part #2 of a Part #1 poem I wrote for a contest a couple of weeks-back. I think all the media-hype that was going on in the news at the time came into play in writing the poem.

      Thanks always for your comments...I truly appreciate!

      Jo


  • NotAMolly
    March 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Everything is funnier in sonnet form... It just is. For some reason, the formality of the sonnet combined with the humorous subject matter makes it even funnier. Anyway, this made more sense when I read the free style one first. Although, I now have no chance of maintaining anonymity... Oh well. Well written and witty, although, I don't think God has blown us off as much as he just dislikes the pavaratzee as much as any of us! Maybe His Grace will get back to those reporters with a phone interview or something... Anyway, thanks for entering!


    • NoWayJo
      March 2, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Sorry... :(

      Hi Willow...Though you've said it's OK, I still feel bad about inadvertently breaking the Blind Contest criteria you attempted to establish for this contest, so in the way of apology:

      1. I'll remove this entry but re-post another to your contest. You won't know it's me because I'm not saying exactly WHEN I'll make the re-post but it will be before contest-end--And I won't even leave a clue by it being any Part #3 series of this poem either!

      2. I'm passing you 100 points for all this inconvenience that you can put towards your next contest or featuring your own poems or however you choose.

      I hope this makes amends...and I know you said it's OK, but I'd still feel better by taking these measures, OK?

      By the way, as to your original comments to this poem--You're right in that I'm not speaking of God actually blowing us off as much as we as humans just create such overwhelming drama and gossip and doubt, many times forsaking another to our own detriment. I was actually thinking of God working up a great PR campaign in the next part of this series, but we'll see how it goes!

      Thanks again for everything and I'll be back with an entry soon!

      Jo


    • NoWayJo
      March 1, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Oh I'm sorry, Willow...I didn't consider the blind contest factor. I owe points toward your next BLIND contest venture if it'll make it all right.

      The first poem was inspired by a contest-theme here at AP, and it had been mentioned to me then by the Contest-Host as to a possible series. Figured I'd try that with each of the series to follow in a different poetic form...I'm still tackling that villanelle!!!

      Thanks for your comments and enjoy the contest!

      Jo


  • Sacrificial Love
    March 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    lol...

    what an ending....

    I love your sense of humor...I'm tickled....pink... as the elvis caddy....lol


  • azure85 gold member
    March 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wowzersm\ what a sonnet! With southern slang and all, the King is a shaking in glee over this! This is great, good luck in the contest!


    • NoWayJo
      March 1, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Oh Girl, you gotta know when I get my mitts on a sparkling pink Elvis Cadillac graphic, it's gonna go a L-O-N-G way!

      I don't know how you and others who write these forms do it...It's a lot harder to get things to rhyme and maintain a sense of meter than I even realized!

      Thanks always for your comments!

      Jo

1 - 15 of 15