In heavens wonder,
she wreaths her path
in hopes to find a saviour.
Perplexed within time,
this lonely soul
is to receive pain
without reason except faith.
For she has none,
and in lack of this,
she will remain a wanderer
till the day she decides.
Author notes
short poems!
A contest entry
- I Love Short Poems by silverscent.
430 points, ended March 11, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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i appreciate your writing style and use of eloquent words. you have talent as a writer
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I very much enjoyed the first three lines. However, the rest of the poem was a little "odd" in terms of flow and power of image. The beginning was powerful and it stuck in my mind, however the rest seemed to be lacking that former "power." Thanks for entering though.
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thank you for you constructive critizism, i'll definitely work on it.
take care and good luck judging in your contest.
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Very interesting ideas here, Hill, that made me think a lot. The first three lines remind me of my life right now, especially "in hopes to find a savior". Sometimes I have trouble believing that there is Someone who has saved me...and now I will stop preaching and leave.
Elisa
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Very deep and thought provoking. A lovely strong write in it's brevity. Makes me think about my life.
Well done, dear poet.
Best to you in the contest!
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