A dying spirit, a dying soul,
mind and body no longer whole.
Ripped apart, chopped to pieces,
shattered dreams, pain releases.
Mid overwhelming state of stress,
hurtful side of love's loneliness.
Broken promise heart strings broken,
become withdrawn, words unspoken.
Spirit grounded with broken wings,
because her heart no longer sings.
An emptiness embraces her,
remembering him, things that were.
Tantalized by sweet memories,
at night his face, is all she sees.
Eyes closed, feel his tender touch,
laying there, wanting him so much.
Within her body, spirit and mind,
love's bitter ravage, so unkind.
Charred ashes where once was flame,
poor little fool, lost at love's game.
Author notes
I chose option #2
Quote- "Inside her heart is breaking."
In a list
A contest entry
- Heart Broken by SensualWhispers.
425 points, ended March 6, 2007, 33 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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This is such an amazing poem! The imagery is superb and rhyming and rhyming flow effortlessly in this piece. It was such a pleasure to read, full of emotion; And I also love the background!
Keep up the excellent work!
Annie
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Hood-winked!
Good day, dear
This poem is absolutely wonderful! Although when I first met you over a year ago your had a lot of talent, you definitely have improved. Loved the flow, the rhythm, and rhyme and all of that fun stuff. You did an excellent job and you deserved the trophy. Thanks for sharing
--Tim
You've been hood-winked by the Poetic Bandits!
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Wow such a vivid picture you have painted of a love gone wrong. So full of vivid imagery and emotions. I think that all of us can relate to this at one time or another in our lives. Excellent flow and content. I have so enjoyed Hood-Winking you today also. You are so talented, and I have loved reading your amazing writes. Have a wonderful day and remember that God loves you, and so do I
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This is incredible! You captured the pain of a broken heart with fantastic imagery and a fabulous rhythm and rhyme. This piece is the perfect explanation of how one feels when scorned by love. I absolutely love this border you've used, lovely presentation! Your work is wonderful and I will be sure to stop and read more often now! "Hood-winking" you has been a wonderful treat for me today!
~Lori
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Grand imagery and a lovely word of these words the hurt and pain shines strong, yes it is are hearts that take the biggest hit take a long time to mend but can and will with lots of faith and work ... Condrads on the Bronze...
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Wow! Mind Blowing....
M floored by your lines
Every word touches the heart.
Well penned, so well done.
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Yep..
.. I agree with this poem. Body do I know how it feels. Your words were singing to my heart. I love your background by the way. Excellent poem. I thank you very much for entering and the best of luck to you. Kassie -
Sandy, I couldn't help but have a look at another poem of yours, after reading Fathoms Deep and loving it, I thought to see what other poems you've written and it's just as lovely as the last.
My heart was breaking just reading it! It's so emotive.
Spirit grounded with broken wings,
because her heart no longer sings.
That line just did it for me. Such sweetness conveyed by words.
Thankyou for yet another beautifully penned piece.
Louise
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HEARTACHE AND SADNESS
Love lost is truly better than to never have loved at all, the pain is great but so is the giving of ones heart.
A tender and beautiful write my dear friend.
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A whole poem dedicated to a simple few words .... He went his way ..... surely a broken heart but tears are the balm that God gave us to heal such tears .. for both are spelt the same too.....
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This was a beautiful expression of emotion, you hit the core aspect of loneliness, and longing. I liked it, it had a nice flow all the way through. You did an awesome job. one thing that is ovious, God has blessed you with some major writing skills.
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Hi sandy, these words of emotion are so true of a broken heart, you have captured the pain well. There are just two lines that I think weaken the whole poem,
Broken promise brings heart broken,
become withdrawn, words unspoken.
For me, there is something not quite right in what they say, but that is only my opinion. The rest of the poem is beautiful. Well done and good luck in the contest. Val
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I like the wording in this and the sort of semi-stilted way that some of it reads... it's like a fragmented mind, which fits perfectly with the overall feel and impact of this poem.
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Beautiful !!!
Ahh this was so sad but so full of emotion.. I really loved the background with this.. Thank you for sharing this special moment.. Good luck in the contest.
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I also thought this was nifty, I like how you exposed these raw feelings of hurt through your words,
once again some wonderful work,
Warm thoughts
Frozentearz -
Nifty
Sandy ouff your take on broken heart is pretty harsh and negative. I know two people who is walking this path lol! A scout affair!
) Your words are very rich, i prefer your spiritual poetry Faith and belief come within ourselves, wings help in our destination and the hearts fulfilled. As long as it is not the draw of a card every morning, maybe it's more than one.. there is a great chance your heartbreak won't occur Integrity and respect in love go a long way. Serenely in love with my poet and blessings xx
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bravo
Sad and very deftly done, moves well, with some fine rhyme and meter...over all a good poem...bravo...bravo...bravo...
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Is it possible to lay in someone's arms and crying because the moment is captured forever in your hearts? True love is devine.
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Wow, it makes me feel as though I was actually heartbroken while I read this.
Very nice, take a look at mine sometime if you please.. we share the same point of views I find -
Beautiful, a deeply emotional rendition of the actual physical and emotional pain of heartbreak. Best of luck!
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