More and more,
I find myself dwelling:
on distance,
on uncertainty,
on life,
on love,
on pain.
All resemble you-
in that nauseating overly sweetened over the counter cough syrup sort of way,
and I gag back thoughts of us-
and what we could've been,
because I know how we are now.
love and agony slip into the same vile and I drink it deep.
I can remember the first time I saw you-
your confidece always did make me blush
I wish I could shatter through the time of what was us -break the memory-
stop it all before it started.
Maybe then, just maybe, I could drift to sleep without crimson tears sliding down my open wrists.
If it could only work.
In knowing you,
I have lost myself.
Author notes
option #7
A contest entry
- Options 4 All by Truthful Princess.
1150 points, ended March 23, 2007, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Poem(s) You Have Ever Wrote by NickelleteXninja.
550 points, ended June 15, 2007, 140 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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this sounds like something that could come right out of fight club...lol. it's an amazingly poetic movie that is underappreciated in that sense because most only see the masculinity and violence.
anyway, my point is that this poem is one of the most outwardly open forms of truth that i've read in a while and i really hope you win each contest you enter. amazing job. good luck -
Codine to my Ambien
you dont need to understand the above thats for my co-judge...
'in that nauseating overly sweetened over the counter cough syrup sort of way,'
I love this its so great
if my co judge reads this shell think codine and i'm sure she'll like it as much as me
its great
thanks so much for entering! -
"In knowing you,
I have lost myself."
Amazing quote. Amazing write. Described and worded to the fullest.
"I can remember the first time I saw you-
your confidece always did make me blush"
I can relate to that.. I can relate to that pretty well...
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Thank you for your critique. Most are too afraid to give some constructive critiscism.
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Wow
This poem was really really sad and I could feel your hurt and pain! I am sorry that you had to go through this! The layout of your poem made it a little hard to read but other then that it was great. If I were to grade this I would give you a 74 -
Graphic and frightful!!!
I can picture the blade cut down your forearm. The image of a crevice getting wider and growing deeper startles me. I used to know a cutter. She used a razor to her wrists. It is like you're playing Russian Roulette. A cut too deep can bleed you out, almost like playing chicken with a bullet. Graphic and profound lines and lyrics. Spectacular!
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