Never seen such shiny sparkly
stones
as these seeing holes
deeply set in my face
but on each butterfly-wing-thin
layer
you peel back,
there's a new monster engraving
it's [non]soul
into the shadows of my thoughts.
So bury
all I've ever confessed to your name,
'cause if you could feel the hurt
of clawing;
of tearing;
scraping at something-
too deep to reach..
well,
you wouldn't even bother.
if you could only see the invisible-
the foreign fingerprints
that smother every skin cell;
that refuse to disappear
...even when the rest of me
Already has.
Author notes
mmphhghh :|
yup.
-crash
In a list
A contest entry
- I Want The Best by burdened.
700 points, ended March 2, 2007, 24 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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love it.
love you.
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a great write, made me think, very thought provoking, and also captivating, it flows well,
"if you could only see the invisible-
the foreign fingerprints " - have to be my favourite lines, thanks for entering. good luck and take care. XxX
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This is like
Different
I like it
Because
Of that
I like
You
Your well
Different nice.
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Oh my god
the ending was flawless
you so clever that
its breath takign
I am head over toesies
for your words love u crash
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*dances around in underwear*
she said she loves me!!
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Ooh I like this. I like this indeed. The flow was spot on and my mind was having a field day reading this. First three lines - nice rhyme added here. The second stanza is my favourite ... so delicate and then you mention monster, that's awesome.
"So bury
all I've ever confessed to your name"
--I'm drawn to this. I feel we can take sins and secrets of others and dig them deep into our skin.
"if you could only see the invisible-... - ...that refuse to disappear"
--absolutely adore this part. Sounds kind of like the old me but better, heh.
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heheh, field day!
[for some reason. it made me giggle.]
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Wowzers!
Very powerful && meaningful.
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thanks for reading!
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