Firey coals in his mind
since the world was never kind.
Blue skys where the angels come down,
he watchs and never makes a sound.
They follow his path into the unknown
to where his love, was first sown.
Stopping suddenly on a large rock.
His face becomes damp with regretful tears,
thinking about all thoes lost years.
Stepping towards the ledge without doubt
knowing he won't be missed with or without.
Plundering
Down
Faster
Than
Light
there was no sign, of personal fright.
Flashing before his eyes, the angels came down in sure surprise.
The coals became cold
as the angels turned bold.
They let him go
for they knew he was already too low
and he could not fall,
anymore.
A contest entry
- Heart Broken by SensualWhispers.
425 points, ended March 6, 2007, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 5 options for the creative poet (10) by bananasfoster42.
525 points, ended March 15, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Lovely
This is wonderful. I love the way you have created the layout of this piece as it conveys more power to the poem, somehow. Well crafted and flowing perfectly.
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wow. this a is a great poem. thanks for enterin!
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Quiet Interesting..
... I find that your poem is very well written and the form you used is great. lol I love the stepping down motion you have in this poem. I find angels are amazing and you've done quiet a job on this poem. I do feel though the ending is not the best. I feel it could be brought out more for the story.
Kassie
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Hmm.. I'll have to take your comment into consideration.
You may be right, I could go one step futher.
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nice nice very very nice...there are a lot a bold emotions and i like this a lot very cool emoagies formed in my mind.i loveed it. tahnks
~~~ in love indeath
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Thank you for your comment, I love when my readers can really form a image of the poem in their head. Just makes it worth it to write
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