A lonely school girl sits upon the swing,
Love had been in the air.
A man had entered her heart.
Pondering her thoughts ,
Her life, but an empty shell,
no substance from what she could tell.
Invisible to all that knew her,
would it matter now if she were gone?
Paths of loneliness she ponders,
wondering of all done wrong,
looks down to hide her shame....
a title, a marriage, his vows that he shed.
Married, unable to turn away...
Shame for knowing it was wrong,
Pregnant, now abandoned with pain.
Guidance she seeks from someone,
...anyone, a soul who'd know her heart,
a future she desires with a man
only but a shadow in her mind,
and a child to carry her love...
Reminders of love lost,
She knew it had been wrong.
He would never leave his wife!
Raising this child without a father
could only bring a constant reminder,
cold hope overwhelmed her as this life was denied
any purpose of survival, any reasons to go on.
Mentions of the affair were abound...
People passing with silent whispers...
looks of resentment, punishment in itself,
people are cruel when they don’t understand,
or just pretend they don’t.
A friend, a lover,
her only hopes turn black as days are swarmed
with despair.
She hides in her darkness,
As reality no longer exists...
This mentor, this man who promised her,
Then took it all away.
In passing his eyes were cast down,
Remembrance of when it all began...
He stands at her bedside,
this box now cold...
his tears flow like rivers
as he weeps what he knows.
This girl, a child,
an innocence unknown...
her life would still be here
If he’d stepped up long ago.
collaboration w/ Nature Song
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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:)
Very good show of feelings throughout. Wasn't much to my taste, it seemed a tad too long when descriging the feelings of loneliness, lack of love, but at least you keep the subject matter within your main postiion of writing. Very good and thanks for your crit on my poem
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thanks for your honesty
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nicely written poem, as always and a beautiful write. I like the style in which you present warm and cold feelings. nicely done.
lexy xx
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Thank you Lexy, this was WindWhisper and mine first collaboration together. Glad you enjoyed it. ~Sie
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Wow that is one friggin intense write. That really sucks that it took the guy that long to have any feelings. Anyhow.. you both did an amazing job writing this.
thank you for sharing it. (Sorry it took so long to comment.. have not been in the commenting mood lately) Anyhow.. keep up the good work you 2
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Wow! I love it espacially the last couple of lines! Great write, lots of varying feelings within it as well, the ending again, got to me.
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beautiful
this is a sad write, for there is a lot of pain when something like this happens...remember though, that life goes on, and you find the strength in the knowledge of not only maturity, but wisdom. Awesome write...smile...hugs and love...David
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Awwwwwwwwww!
Greatwrite with feelings and lots of emotions, as this happens in the real world. I felt this and the pain of her lying cold and this rat, havimng feelings after she has gone, letting her down. terrific.
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Great poem with wonderful description, emotion and imagery. I found the flow to be off in this. Somehow, this reminds me of The Police's "Don't Stand So Close To Me"...which is strange, yet good, because I like that song.
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free form poetry does not have flow or rhythm. the emotion guides the poetry. ut thanks for reading and the applause.
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Only those who tasted it oould know the true heartache and pain. A captivating write.
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Wonderful !!!
This is just so sad but keeps your readers engrosed in every line! I thought this was a bittersweet memory ..Very good write!! Thank you for sharing.
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a compelling story
quite an effort here to include so many details of the feelings involved here.. this writer seems to have a fondness for introspective writing and it is well done here
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Through gritted teeth a soul cries out, "I feel for you and want you to know... You're not alone!"
Penned into the perfect tragedy. An exquisite write.
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Damn, that was filled with bitter tears. Powerful work, you two. I love it...as always.
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now this is a sad write, it takes the reader through the journies of the girls mind, shadows cast a fearful existance, struin with anger and shame from both sides. his commital, too late to save her soul.
how many times has that happened. too many.
a well penned piece, well done.
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