Flutter by
With those angelic lips
Succulent devilish kiss
Sexy sweet
For my serpentine tongue
Inhibitions undone
These senses connected
Innocent eyes
Babe you're wild,
divine
Catch and release
Oh, please
Don't let it be over
Icy chills
Soft moans
For hot thrills
This pulsing
You're mouthing
Those words that I love to hear
Shot in the dark
Make you work
For that pleasure
Flirtation
Takes patience
Till your key
Pierces my heart
Again
Written for my boyfriend, looking for quick suggestions before I give it to him with his present lol
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Very Hot
Wow you took me there with this one. I love the meter of this pice. The motion of love making, not pointless sex. You communicate so clearly your your joy in what you give of your self, but the heat comes as you outline what you do to him as well as pull from him. I think that this will make a great preview to the, "Gift" that you plan to follow it.
Good Luck (do a lot of stuff I wouldn't do, I'm old) Let me know how it works out.
Dark
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Ooh, I'm not really much into sensual poetry, but you definately wrote this poem that way that I did enjoy it
What a nice present to give to your boyfriend
I'm still waiting for mine to give something similar 
lol 
Very well done!
Leander -
A short story
It's been played out many billions of times before, so very old. And this same short story is so new it just takes your breath away. Wow!
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I promise you he will like it- though it will get his wheels turning in his head.
these two are my favorite stanzas
"Sexy sweet
For my serpentine tongue
Inhibitions undone
These senses connected"
"Icy chills
Soft moans
For hot thrills"
Though personally I would take out the for in the last stanza
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I think this is great - it is very snappy and that works brilliantly. There is a real splash of emotion.
"Icy chills
Soft moans
For hot thrills" is a particularly outstanding stanza - the contrasts of chills&soft (comfort and discomfort), icy&hot, creates a really energetic effect. Good stuff.
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Hahahaha we haven't had sex, your comment was so motherly it made me laugh! You guys are probably right about that very forthright part though, it might freak him out even though it refers to something other than sex, so I'll look at that. Anyway, I had sex with my previous bf (even though I wish now I hadn't) so I already am a "woman" LOL love ya!
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No, no, no...
My baby is Not a woman. I cannot accept this fact!
Your poetry is sensuous but not raw and gritty. There is erotic that is tastefully written, and erotica that has no flavor at all. Yours is the first mention! I like this one! Add it to your list.
Mom
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Flutter by
With those angelic lips
Succulent devilish kiss
Flirtation
Takes patience
Till your key
Pierces my heart
Again these are my favorite parts this is very well written i love the imagery....unfourtunatly i need a cold shower, very hot!!
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Good work
I liked the short lines and sparing use of words here. These are usually my favourite types of poem so I enjoyed this.
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very nice poem. i very much like the words you chose to use
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Your Mommy says...
Flutter by
With those angelic lips
Succulent devilish kiss
Sweet serpentine tongue
Inhibitions undone
Senses connected
Fiery eyes
Thunder Heaven
Till you're rain dries
Catch and release
Oh, please
Don't let it be over
Icy chills
Soft moans
Such searing thrills
This pulsation
You're mouthing
Words I love to hear
Shot in the dark
Earn this burning
pleasure
Flirtation
Takes patience
Till your key
Pierces my heart
Again
Don't need the blatant words in this poem at all. It reads so much more romantic without being forward this way. Remain Mommy's sweet gentile lady even if the sex was good.
LOVE YOU ♥
Mommy
My baby is a woman!
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Heh... hope likes it. Suggestions... take out anything that is an overt sexual suggestion... which is pretty much only: "Fiery eyes
Pump you hard
Till you're dry."
Maybe keep it, but as a rewrite. (The poem doesn't need it, however.)
Good luck on the b-day!
~Das
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