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[this is the shittiest poem i've ever written]

I thought this time was different,
I thought I could be happy,
dancing through the night under stars
that shone almost as bright as your eyes.

But you've broken me down,
and I just don't think I can live like this.
I need to feel your arms around me,
and you keep saying that its over.
I didn't know I could be so miserable.

broken hearted.
until you, id never had my heart broken.
here it is,
lying on the floor.

Please tell me what you think

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Comments


  • Rainbow-High
    March 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I love youuuuuu and I hope everything gets better. I'm here if you want to talk sweetie <3


  • sweetpearl
    February 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Well it's not total shit, in your opinion it may be the worse you've written but I've seen much, much, muchmuch worse. The last stanza was the weakest I felt. Possibly the first line of the third, I don't know if it's really needed.

    I like how the third line in the first is worded. I'm hoping never to experience a broken heart but I'm sure that'll happen somewhere down the line, unfortunately. Be well.