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Just another ghost

Sometimes I feel like I'm invisible,
Like I wouldn't matter to you,
And yet-it's incredible...
You say that I do!

I keep searching for something I'll never find,
I think it's my life...or maybe it was;
When I'm around, you keep acting like blind...
Am I not the one you lost?

I'm pale, floating in your world,
But I'm alive; for you... to be I could.
Do you see me?Can you hear me?
I think you can...I think you should...

I'm here, waiting,
I want you to come and talk to me,
I keep counting the minutes until you'll come and see
That what I have is what you need the most...
Or am I just another ghost?

Author notes

For the Ghost contest...it could be considered a pre-write, but I didn't put it online until now.
AngelCowGirl: Name the horsie Flash-it definately suits him!

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • xCandieKissesx
    May 14, 2008

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    Intriguing. I like the imagery and flow this poem had to offer. The last stanza was great! Thanks for entering and best of luck to you!

    + Jackie


  • SaviDropKick.Oi.
    May 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    very good thnx for entering my contest!


  • Naridill gold member
    January 28, 2008

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    Intriguing piece - you have phrased this simple yet stunning. Love the topic - interesting and weird.

    Thanks for entering,


  • Love-Lee
    November 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Great

    I liked this write... and does remind m of the last week or so I lived with him... THank you so much for the great write!


  • aligurl
    November 20, 2007

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    I had you on the finalist list but then I decided it wouldn't be fair if I already was picking favorites. but I won't forget you.

  • aligurl
    November 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Exactly what I am looking for.... yes yes yes... except for we haven't broken up but i definately love this!!! I would Kudo you but I'm trying not to do that for this contest

    • masky
      November 20, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much!
      You know, as a little secret, I didn't actually write this when we broke up...it was my fourth poem, and ...I just felt this way. Which is weird, because things were going fine, but...well, he just didn't do(as you said!) the bigger things that mattered


  • Simply a Memory
    November 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Great write

    I know the feeling by heart and I hate it with a passion, but the way you depicted this was perfect! I really did enjoy this, you are obviously very talented.
    thanks for entering and good luck!
    ~Stormy~


  • Mori-lux
    October 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is nice. I know this feeling well. It's very troubleing. Good job. keep it up. good luck in your contest!


  • Ale E
    September 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I think this was good. The flow could be tweaked but it is really fine as is..no big problem. Thank you for entering. I wish you the best of luck in my contest.

    aleXox- life is our reflection...


  • xXLoveXx
    August 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    thank you for your wonderful entry in this contest! you are truly talented. points and trophies dont need that to prove it!


  • AngelDreamer
    April 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    amazing absolutly amazing thanks for entering and good luck


  • Violent Messiah
    March 4, 2007
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    Its sad how the people we care about can make us feel like ghosts. Great write.


  • WordWraith
    March 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Interesting

    I like the perspective that you put into it. Well written. The emotion that you put into it and the interpretation that you left open to it really adds to it. It is interesting that you put in that a ghost could possibly still be a living person. I like it. Well done.


  • MissStranger
    March 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    SPLENDID

    i love your style!your english is faultless and the way you manage to deal with both techinques and emotions stands proof of your creative potential!you know what!get to another level and try to be a little more abstract!whatever you want to express try to SUGEST it and challange the reader a bit!you can keep it simple in style and yet indulge the reader to explore meanings through new perspectives and personal approaching! you can!why? because you need it too!you're style is not comercial that's why your poems have an impact!(no matter the kind as long they don't leave the reader indiferent )keep up and be creative!


  • dream5111
    February 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "I'm here, waiting,
    I want you to come and talk to me,
    I keep counting the minutes until you'll come and see
    That what I have is what you need the most...
    Or am I just another ghost?" is my favorite part


  • Miss Faith
    February 28, 2007
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    I LOOOOOOOOVE IT.

    wonderful really.


  • Sweet Sorrow
    February 28, 2007

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    Sometimes I feel like I'm invisible,
    Like I wouldn't matter to you,
    And yet-it's incredible...these lines are too powerful that one will ponder. too deep in its sense. awesome poem and well done. goodluck!


  • TheWiseShallSuffer
    February 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    quite relative.

    i feel invisible most of the time, not that no one notices me, but no one truly cares. but the few that do,are my closest friends. though there've been times when i think even they don't care.

1 - 20 of 20