Can we walk away from what we had?
Baby,you were more than I could ask for.
We have gone through so much
Too much for us to just throw it all away.
I have done everything for us to be together.
Nothing worked
Distance has grown between us.
Mutual feelings have risen
No love any more
No love at all
I want to walk away
You want to walk away
We will forget it all.
Shadows fall on me
Relief lifts me up.
Author notes
"Baby,You Wouldn't Last A Minute On The Creek" By Chiodos
A contest entry
- songs that make you think by loveisamixedtape.
308 points, ended March 9, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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IDK
Hmm, it feels like there was so much emotion in this that it just kind of drowned everything else out. I can relate to it, but it feels like it could be so much more. I'mma probably piss you off, but I've seen great stuff from you before and I expect more from the person who ever got me to write in the first place lol. Three years ago you were my poetic hero
, time to get on the ball. Try more imagery and metaphors like you used to, don't be so straightforward. Still, it's good, so don't let my rambling upset you too much. I just feel like goading you a bit lol. I've always loved your poetry, so I wants more lol.
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Awww!
This is amazing too morgan...i think ur brilliant at poems hunni keep it up! You didny say how hard u and him found it breaking up y not? you know im always here to tok to hunni...all u need to do is say! I love the part where u said...'shadows fall on me...relief lifts me up' that part is really really good darlin...hope to here from you soon luv ya xxClairexx
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yes, i like. i've seen this kind of poem a lot though...it's good expression, but there's a lot of breakup poems out there. thanks for entering!
-bubblefluf
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