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Hand Me Down

Missing image
Shadow puppets in a new light
Lost innocence at a mere caress
Eyes straining to see in dimly lit vision
Voices tuned out but for a Mimes charade
Withdrawn into the hole with Alice
Cringing not in fear but self doubt
Why was the Rabbit late?
Mock turtle unwilling to peer out from within the shell
Peripharel cornered and told to tear
Sunlights chill unwarming in frigid emotion
Trembling nerves on the edge of reality
Tantrums guilty of a Palm Readers confession
If He was psychic He should have known
Placed into pockets with Change
Coins flipped to no avail
Heads will spin
Tails will tell All
Reaching out to strike a bargain
Out of Touch nor desire to be
By My own hand i shall rise
And wave goodbye.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Whoochi gold member
    February 28, 2007

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    Abuse in any form is sad and dramatic..life changing. You have done a great job with the Alice theme and what a child may feel...These lines speak to me in volumes..Sunlights chill unwarming in frigid emotion
    Trembling nerves on the edge of reality... Such Fear, pain, angst cry out....ty for sharing...awesome..! Good luck!


  • Angel-Crestfallen
    February 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    very nice


  • michellemybelle gold member
    February 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    great metephors
    loved Alice, that one words sais much
    this stirred quite a bit of emotion in me
    all well done
    good luck in this contest


  • Blue Rew silver member
    February 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    very visually striking and emotionally transpiring.
    Blue


  • EmeraldDreams
    February 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is very moving. The reference to a child's story, Alice in Wonderland, makes it all the more dark and chilling. The combination of innocent childhood references and the more harsh subject matter makes for a very good read. Good luck in the contest.


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    February 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This was really good i got confused but tht cld be the fact i was meant to be doing work and my teacher crept up on me. but after re reading it i found it highly intresting and i could feel what you was saying in it. thankyou for entering and good luck


    • soldiersoul gold member
      February 28, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      confused how? i just used alot of metaphor to ease my way through a delicate subject

1 - 7 of 7