Jaded once too often
My heart lies reeling
On a bed of ice and thorns
Lie after lie
And scores of promises broken
Have distorted my sense of worth
Dreams and aspirations
Seem to have vanished
Behind your veil of deceit
Trust has become a fallacy
In your heart ever bleeding for me,
Never thought I could be proven naive
The love of which you spoke
Was often shown by a violent
And cheating hand
Now I turn and walk away
Leaving you alone to deal
With your newly dented pride
No longer your puppet on a string
To play your twisted little games
I refuse to be your fool.
I leave behind this life of tangled truth
The so called love you have for me
No more than a labyrinth of smoke and mirrors.
Alone you shall remain
To sift through the ashes of your disloyalty
And ponder on what may have been,
I hope you enjoy the taste of regret
As it will feature heavily in your future.
It's ironic that the smoke and mirrors
That once served you so well
Have ended up claiming you
As their final victim.
Author notes
Just written from the word "smoke" as given as a contest option. This word made me think of "smoke and mirrors" and that took me down the path of cheating hearts.
A contest entry
- ~Word choice~ by Frozentearz.
525 points, ended March 3, 2007, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-write Party 3 by DancingRed.
300 points, ended September 26, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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wow Daddy this poem is intense.. I really was captivated.. you held my attention and lately that's something that's very hard to do. You did a fine job with the prompt, your poem is outstanding.
Congratulations on the Gold Trophy.
kat
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"a labyrinth of smoke and mirrors" - I like the imagery you've used in this piece, however it's longer than twenty lines and so it won't win here. Best of luck in future contests.
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Nice poem! More telling than showing, but still nice.
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Blimmin heck! How do you manage to come up with these pieces from one word????? I love how it twists and turns around leaving them as the victim. Very cleverly done and well deserving of that trophy.
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wow! this is indeed brilliant-it is powerful -both in subject matter and choice of words- there is so much of passion here-I really like it-
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I know this is late in coming, but I just wanted to congratulate you on your award it was a joy to have you as part of this contest,
Warm thoughts
Frozentearz -
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oops sorry, my bad again showed no stars I was going to boost it.
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wow this is such a great poem i really like this one a lot. it flows really nicely and its a topic that a lot of people could or somewhat could relate too. great write and keep up the excellent work.
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Amazing Poem
Wow Errant Panther, You penned an amazing poem. It so deserved to win. Congratulations. You take care, Sandy
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This a beautiful poem tell of the struggle of a woman or a man that is cheating on his/her partner very fitting to most people once in there life time. I love it so much it touched my heart not know why but only knowing that there is something there that shows me the inside to someones life.
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Well Done
WOW...........This is an amazing piece my dear cousin. I loved every word of it. You did an awesome job getting all this from one simple word. Congrats on the gold trophy.
Keep writing
Love Your Cousin
Countrybabe
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Amazingly Written
For you to have only one word to use in the inspiration of this write,you have brought it out with an amazing touch.Life is filled with people that play all kinds of games,but the truth is what goes around comes back around.Great write indeed.Love the background!
Blessings
~Cheryl~ -
Gee.. sounds like my life almost. I keep feeling this trapped and tortured feeling. I cannot seem to shake it.. and though I am not abused..It still is killing me .. bit by bit. Great poem sweetheart. You made me think a whole lot with this write. Good luck in the contest hon
Love,
~Krys~
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good luck well written
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I like how the roles are reversed in this poem. As if the person triumphs in the end. It's quite interesting. Very creative.
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I like freestyle I always feel it gives the author a chance to run with their thoughts, and you have done a wonderful job with doing that,
I like what you have done with the word smoke thank you
so much for sharing ,
Warm thoughts
Frozentearz -
my favorite line is "And ponder on what may have been"...I think I do that much to often myself. I like your voice in this piece, it really comes through...
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wow really good write i especially like this part
The love of which you spoke
Was often shown by a violent
And cheating hand
Now as I turn and walk away
Leaving you alone to deal
With your newly dented pride
No longer your puppet on a string
To play your twisted little games
I refuse to be your fool
I leave behind this life of tangled truth
The so called love you have for me
No more than a labyrinth of smoke and mirrors
smoke and mirrors. a great metaphor...
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Sounds like an anthem for the jaded. I think everyone has felt this at one point in their lives. Eventually the game has to end, and the one who started it usually gets it thrown back in their face. Good luck in the contest. --->pixxie<---
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