Through the kindest sentiment you tainted my very soul.
You took hold of me and broke me down.
Oh Love what a cruel joke you play on my mind.
Your words whispered sweetly in vain.
Your actions left me in a puddle of tears.
For every emotional whirlwind you spun me into,
I now leave you with this.....
I once was whole and now am but a piece of the person you knew.
Always remember how I loved you and how you turned your back on love.
For in moments my heart will cease to beat and my brain will cease to think.
My eyes will shut and never again blink.
In closed mouth I silently spoke your name...
As my existence becomes null and void.
Author notes
3. What do you do when you're falling for the one who won't catch you as you fall?
4. Take this sharp razor.
Sign your name on my wrists.
So everyone who see me can know
Who left me like this.
I combined options 3 and 4.
In a list
A contest entry
- Heartbreak... by BittersweetPhantasm.
525 points, ended March 14, 2007, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
thanks... ok basically i love the whole poem - its short but powerful and gets the image of the quotes across well:
Through the kindest sentiment you tainted my very soul.
You took hold of me and broke me down.
Oh Love what a cruel joke you play on my mind.
Your words whispered sweetly in vain.
Your actions left me in a puddle of tears.
For every emotional whirlwind you spun me into,
I now leave you with this.....
I once was whole and now am but a piece of the person you knew.
Always remember how I loved you and how you turned your back on love.
For in moments my heart will cease to beat and my brain will cease to think.
My eyes will shut and never again blink.
In closed mouth I silently spoke your name...
As my existence becomes null and void.
well done and good luck (and thanks again for not making me have to d'q you)
-
please put the option in the author box! i don't want to have to d'q you. this is a really good poem, so please don't force me to!
-
-
My bad!
Thanx for not dq'in me!
-
-
oooh...exquisite! it saddens me that the good ones always end with a dark point. question: is it vane or vain in line 4?
-
This is painful and yes...oft times the words spoken with the sugary sweetness of love are fake murmurings of deceit. Love can be hurtful and it can be kind. Too bad it leaves many strewn in pieces, scattered on the floor. An awesome poem, chalked with searing emotions. I wish you the best in this challenge dear friend.
Always ♥
Renee
-
very well written so much emotion. I hope this gets better if you really feel this way. Its an excellent poem. And the picture is really awsome depressing but fricken sweet
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
