The Ten Commandments of Capitalism

1. Money is your God, you shall not value anything without it.

2. You shall not make for yourself an idol, when there are perfectly good ones out there for sale. And should it break you shall not bow down to fix it, you shall throw it away and buy a new one.

3. You shall not make wrongful use of the money you earn. It is your's to spend on yourself and ONLY yourself, charity is a dire sin.

4. Observe the sabbath day and keep it holy, you shall labour and toil for 6 days. Then spend the 7th day trying to get all you can for nothing. Remember that your ancestors might have been slaves and could have done alot of unpaid work, and it is your duty to reclaim these debts.

5. Honour your father and mother. They have valuable assets that you one day hope to inherit.

6. You shall not murder, unless you're being paid to assassinate them.

7. You shall not commit adultery, when you could be doing commandment 8 instead.

8. You shall steal anything and everything you can, specially from people who have already been far too trodden on to do anything about it.

9. You shall not waste your time bearing witness to your neighbor unless you stand to gain something.

10. You shall not covert your neighbors house, wife or anything he owns while there are people who you can take from who shall put up much less resistance.


You shall keep these 10 commandments and live by them at all times. Failure to do so shall be punishable by poverty