Just once, I wish that I could be
the source of someone else's
♥break
I kept screaming, and they kept falling
1 million million
tears chunks stains
to wound
Stranded on nameless pain,
irrational thought,
(served on Frosted Flakes)
Sugar psychosis, but you know
the truth is deeper,
(It's all fat, in the end)
And maybe a burn, maybe a contrition,
but I'm still choking on the
..vomit..
from yesterday's bereavement~
And the psychic said what I needed to hear
(I'm not happy,)
Never was
*But I'm not 'The One'*
{Maybe the alone, or
the dial tone}
and this spin cycle's making me dizzy
and maybe that's why my spit tastes like
playground
And I can feel the thrum of the beat,
or the drum,
or the rhythm
that makes my heart flip
And it reminds me that
I am so
$%small%$
in this world that it's hard not to be
Crushed sometimes
and I wish
I wish?
I wish.
You, all of the happiness
(that a cancer patient has)
or a fly without wings
I found that you are a championship
motivator,
(to drink)
and now my insides are flammable.
So, please end this(me)
douse me in
kerosene,
and will you please light my cigarette?
....♥....
Author notes
This is the aftermath of some of my dirty pretty work.
MWAH
~Slip~
In a list
A contest entry
- &&im.your.intoxication by Zombie-x.
450 points, ended March 5, 2007, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - .x. DIRTY PRETTY REVOLUTION!! .x. by Mildew in PinK tile.
1150 points, ended April 14, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Blahdeblah
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
You, all of the happiness
(that a cancer patient has)
or a fly without wings
strikingly beautiful lines dear!
i def loved this
.x.<3 -
hunny babe you were supposed to put a fresh write after you entered your prewrite, if you hurry and write something new i wont DQ you okie hun!? good lucK!
-
Ohh love it babey!!!
"Just once, I wish that I could be
the source of someone else's
♥break
I kept screaming, and they kept falling
1 million million
tears chunks stains
to wound
Stranded on nameless pain,
irrational thought,
(served on Frosted Flakes)"
The begining is my favorite, those lines just really speak to me! Specatcular doll!!
-
So, please end this(me)
douse me in
kerosene,
and will you please light my cigarette?
....♥....
i love this entire poem
p.s. congrats on silver -
like I said, should've won
-
holy. way to knock the wind right out of me!!
I can't tell you how much I'm awed at this. it's
so talented, and amazing, and it feels like you wrote down my brain [in a much better format]
the vocabulary is great.
"Just once, I wish that I could be
the source of someone else's
♥break"
"And the psychic said what I needed to hear
(I'm not happy,)
Never was
*But I'm not 'The One'*
{Maybe the alone, or
the dial tone}
and this spin cycle's making me dizzy
and maybe that's why my spit tastes like
playground"
" I wish.
You, all of the happiness
(that a cancer patient has)
or a fly without wings
"
"douse me in
kerosene,
and will you please light my cigarette?"
haha, sorry this is so long. but really, you NEED to win.
or I'll throw a tantrum.
-
Love it. :]]
Sorry I'm not up
for anything more in-depth.
But I honestly love it -
Ha,
You know, I sometimes think of poetry as an individual's own esoteric language, set down for the world to fathom if they can/if they want.
There are many different things that can combine (or not) to make a poem worth reading, and even more to make a poem worth understanding!
This one has many of those things.
The flow follows a very definite process, and within that process are many fine words and original expressions
"and this spin cycle's making me dizzy
and maybe that's why my spit tastes like
playground"
is just one of many fine moments withinthis remarkable write.
Behind, in front of, above and below all of this is a malevolent spirit, full of hurt and the desire to cause hurt in others.
"I wish.
You, all of the happiness
(that a cancer patient has)"
Absolutely damning and all the more brilliant for it!
In one of my more vicious moments, I have said something very similar, wich earned me several blows to the face!
Naturally, the swelling in my nose and eyes has long since faded, but that person will still not speak to me. Just a little reminder of the power of words.
You have a uniqueand dangerous gift, use it wisely, use it well!
-
im flabbergasted! this is so so so random and beautiful. you really reached in with this one hun. i loved this
♥
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