Home is where they['re supposed to] love you,
but love
is where the hurt is.
And trust is broken.. like the
-antique-
vase
dad threw at mom when she came home
in a younger boy's shirt.
I'll try not to run away
[this time]
but that's the part you should be worried about.
'cause I could list the millions of friends,
but it would never cross my mind
to consider
counting on any of them;;
unless it's for a drink. or a
-shove.me.in.the.closet.when.i.screamed.'please.no'-
&
maybe
(just maybe)
if my brain's still intact by the time they find me-
somewhere ...
you could pick apart every.
mangled piece
[and try to find what's wrong with me?]
mother if you need me,
I'll be somewhere.
underneath all these flaws
that you call
"just skin."
.....
Author notes
xxcarcrashhumorxx
=| I tried. it sortof was rambley.
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A contest entry
- I'll be your wishing star.. by Escape--.
525 points, ended March 4, 2007, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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holy fuck... i see more and more of you the more i read.
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gold
Yay!
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I like how the situation seemed to be a love the place but when together they blended.
this was heartbreaking
I'm sorry honey if this is really really personal
I'm always here for you, I promise I am.
I love you ♥
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love you too! =]
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Not really the family aspect of this but I can relate in a few ways. Let me do a little review. The opening (first and second stanza) sadden me. Although my dad was cheating on my mom, he didn't bring her home with him ... he was out and when he came home he was the so-called perfect husband to my mom. If I saw him treat her differently, I would be more fucked up than I already am. I'm glad I never saw any violence. Third stanza ... oh, the first line of it hits me right in the memory. Then you go into the next stanza talking about how many friends you can list but can't count on ... so true for me back then. Now I don't even have a friend because I've realized if I can't count on them, I'm going to discard them. THEN in the fifth stanza where you say these so-called friends would be there to take you out for a drink ... ugh. I remember when I would be down, really down, and all my friends would ever ask me is "want to go to a party Friday night? It'll take your mind off things" never did they ask "hey, I can come over Friday night and we can talk" and in the back of their minds cancelling their plans. My "friends" used to say "I don't want to miss anything" ... like miss something that happens at a party but they can miss me falling apart. Fucking pricks. The rest is great, sad, but great. The last two lines are hurtful and it rubs against me 'cause my flaws are my skin ... although here meaning deeper, it just reminds me of the surface of myself. Sorry for rambling on
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no, I really appreciate your "rambling"!
yeah "friends" are like that. selfish. and you explained it best.
""want to go to a party Friday night? It'll take your mind off things" never did they ask "hey, I can come over Friday night and we can talk" and in the back of their minds cancelling their plans."
you really have a deep understanding of what the author is trying to convey in poetry.
[very refreshing!]
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i really like this. amazing hun x
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thanks!
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Home is where they['re supposed to] love you,
but love
is where the hurt is.
fucking hell, brilliant
great take
squeal! i love it hehe
(i dont mean to copt all this)
And trust is broken.. like the
-antique-
vase
dad threw at mom when she came home
in a younger boy's shirt
but omgosh
wot a picture you paint
your quite the storyteller arent you now!
'cause I could list the millions of friends,
but it would never cross my mind
to consider
counting on any of them;;
haha know that feeling,
theyre all just names to me at the moment,
this is truly incredible,
ivem issedy ou too hunny bun and am so glad that you wrote this
your fabulous
this is like
life
your fantastic
mwah
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
moonshine
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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I want to hug you to BITS right now.
I swear, if you weren't locked inside a frickin computer, I would. ♥
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wow.
this is one of your best.
hands down, amazing, sweets.
like you.
muahz.
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really? oh wow, thanks!!!
-you're lovely.
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i loved the way you stripped this down and bared all so to speak.growing up is not easy and whether this is fact or fiction our childhood kind of molds us to what we think we are worth.i fight every day to tell myself i'm worth more.nice powerful poem.
~helen
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thank you helen!
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AHHHHHHHH!
This is one of my faves by you Crash!
This was whoa oh baby love me hurt me lovely:
And trust is broken.. like the
-antique-
vase
dad threw at mom when she came home
in a younger boy's shirt.
---
'cause I could list the millions of friends,
but it would never cross my mind
to consider
counting on any of them;;
That was like falling off a cliff, realizing you have a parachute
[thats broken]
-shove.me.in.the.closet.when.i.screamed.'please.no'-
emotional outburst!loveeeddd ittt
ending= perfection:
underneath all these flaws
that you call
"just skin."
LOVE your work crashhh
Keep it coming
Ka
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aww thank you sooo much, that was the bestEST comment ever!!
♥ xox
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love this alot. i liked the touch "just skin" gave the write. <333
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thanks! <33
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