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I used to be so young

They used to see me and stare
because of all my great adornings
They used to marvel at my stature
I used to be so young

and then, they called me decrepid
old and falling down
thoughts of crash my walls
I used to be so strong

But now I am a monument
a testament of time
Showing the strength of men
but I used to be so young.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments


  • ronnica
    March 17, 2007

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    I tried to think of a statue to fit, David, Nelson, etc
    or was it a grand building. anyway it is thought provoking and has a nice flow, good luck


  • Cupcrazy gold member
    February 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A very nice piece and I enjoyed the viewpoint that it was written from. Thank you for this fine entry. Hugs, Bunny


  • Sweet Sorrow
    February 27, 2007

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    A very good poem. The flows of each lines is so good.The message is very much understood, with impact. Well done!


  • jacbgd2 gold member
    February 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    The is a good poem. The delivery is good. It flows well. The message was delivered well and words were effectively used. As for the title, the first line and the last line , they we so connective if only those were read together by themselves, it would make a poem. Good write.