Once upon a time
Fairy tale or nursery rhyme,
You know the sort of thing
There’s usually a Queen and King.
.
This is just like all the rest
The handsome prince is put to test,
The time is always medieval,
The villainess is pretty evil.
.
Our heroine so beautiful
To her parents, dutiful,
The wicked fairy uninvited,
Cast a spell, got all excited.
.
Vowed to get her evil way,
And did upon that fateful day
In a room the spinning wheel
To the princess did reveal.
.
As she spun the silken thread
She pricked her finger, fell down dead
But the spell that she had cast
Was not death, but sleep to last
.
One hundred years, to be awoken
By a prince, his kiss a token
Of his love for this fair maid
In a tower she was laid.
.
As she slept all did decay
Then he arrived upon that day
On his charger gleaming white,
Tall and handsome, armour bright,
.
Sword unsheathed to hack his way
To his princess where she lay,
Walls had crumbled, weeds had grown,
Nothing lived, the birds had flown.
.
He climbed the steps to find her room,
Held a candle lit the gloom,
As he walked toward the bed
What was this his princess, dead!
.
Just a corpse lay on the sheet,
Where was his true love, oh so sweet?
Flowers lay around her head,
Transformed to dust, he turned and fled,
.
The curse would not be her demise
No-one heard her anguished cries,
Hair wrapped round her neck so tight
Unable to put up a fight,
.
Forever on her bed to lay
With dying breath she cursed that day.
Author notes
Option 6, a twisted fairy tale.
"So what! I don't know everything"
In a list
A contest entry
- Death to Fairy Tales =] by Alyss in Wonderland.
500 points, ended March 6, 2007, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - OPTIONS!!!!!!!!! AND PREWRITES!!!!!!! by Ale E.
600 points, ended March 22, 2008, 32 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Twisted Fairy Tales by KayJay.
700 points, ended March 26, 2008, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Children fairytales, lets crash 'em! QUICKIE by Meroza.
300 points, ended July 13, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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At first I thought, been there, done that. But I love the twist at the end! It finished on an interesting note. I like it. Well done!
~cheers -
"He climbed the steps to find her room,
Held a candle lit the gloom,
As he walked toward the bed
What was this his princess, dead!"
Nice twist. I like the thought of the prince fleeing in horror. -
I love the dark ending, but it was a bit too ordinary in the start...
Best of luck -
Am amazing and amusing poem! Great "twisted" fairy tale. Congrats on your trophies for this.
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HOLY...SWEET MOTHER OFFF!!!! No this was great.. poor prince - goes through all that ot find a dead body.. agh.. no kiss would wake that up...
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Once upon a time
Fairy tale or nursery rhyme,
You know the sort of thing
There’s usually a Queen and King.
.
This is just like all the rest
The handsome prince is put to test,
The time is always medieval,
The villainess is pretty evil.Sword unsheathed to hack his way
To his princess where she lay,
Walls had crumbled, weeds had grown,
Nothing lived, the birds had flown.
Just a corpse lay on the sheet,
Where was his true love, oh so sweet?
Flowers lay around her head,
Transformed to dust, he turned and fled,
.
The curse would not be her demise
No-one heard her anguished cries,
Hair wrapped round her neck so tight
Unable to put up a fight,
.
Forever on her bed to lay
With dying breath she cursed that day..
wow this poem was wonderful congratulations on your well deserved shiny
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very twisted, nicely done, thanks for entering. good luck.
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Very well done. A twisted fairy tale which avoided the happy ending. Clever, funny, and well versed throughout. Well deserving of the accolades that it has recieved.
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I did like this twist
This was fun and entertaining. A new angle on fairy tales. Only a Brit could come up with that.
bravo.
Terry
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huh well that was certainly different
I liked the start of it - thank you for the entry and congrats on your shinny toys 
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Congratulations Sue on your much deserved Gold
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Hi Sue...
What a wonderful write, fully deserving of the gold. Smooth lines, beautiful imagery, crisp rhymes and a classy ending... Great job! Congratulations
Ken -
An excellent finale to a well told tale I love the unexpected endings to such poems far more entertaining than the boring old ones i heard as a kid Excellent Good luck in the contest
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Good variation at the end as you had kept to the story so well, nice twist. Best of luck.
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Oh, my! Well written. What a twist at the end. It sure drew me in...wondering how it was going to end!
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Wow this was an unexpected twist. This was very nicely written. I especially liked the ending.
.
The curse did not our princess kill,
Strangled by the overspill
.
Of ivy that had grown so tall,
And covered every castle wall- those 2 stanzas were my favorite.
However I did think that the flow could be better. Some of the rhymes sounded a bit forced, but nothing major. I know how hard it can be to tell a story while sticking to a rhyme scheme. NIcely done though.
Thank you for entering my contest. I wish you the best of luck.
ale xox
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OW that is really something! The Prince goes to find his beauty and she's been strangled to death! What a nightmare!!!
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Fantastic
Awesome finish to a tale that once had a happy ending. Sue i love the way you turned this tale around to show that not everything in life has a happy ending. You looked into the depths of love in this tale and have shown that love is not always glamour and fairy tales that the prince does not always get his princess. Wishing you all the very best of luck in this contest with this fantastic poem Love Brian.
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A very clever spin on this fairy tail. Your rhyme and rhythm flowed flawlessly whilst this story unfolded. Vivid imagery brought your words to life. Well done dear poet. Good luck in the contest.
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WONDERFUL AND DARK
GREAT PIECE OF WRITING HERE. THE FLOW WAS TREMENDOUS - WHAT AN ENDING TOO. BRILLIANT DARK GRIMM FAIRY TALE THIS IS. WONDERFUL STRONG IMAGERY HERE AS WELL. WELL DONE FOR THIS DARKMISTRESS.
Your Darkmaster
xxxxxx
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OOO...that was cool. Chilling and definitely not what I expected! I love how in the first four lines you sort of make fun of the fairy tales as you begin yours, and I adore that ending!!! Bravo, and good luck in the contest!!!
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