You're lost in change, it's you I'll find,
You're in my heart, you're in my mind.
You're not the one I thought I knew...
You're a stranger for me, a stranger for you.
You are so new, I liked the old,
You're not the one I want to hold.
You think that's who you want to be:
A stranger for you, a stranger for me.
The memories left just keep coming back,
I try to forget the old you that I had.
You're losing the half that's making you whole;
You're a stranger for me, a stranger for all.
Author notes
I wrote this for someone I THOUGHT I knew...but I didn't. As much as I'd like to keep pretending it.
Edit: a combination of options 3 and 5-also grief for losing a close person...not in the death way...yet another one of my favorites.
A contest entry
- So you think you are good huh???...find out... by LoveNeverDies.
309 points, ended March 18, 2007, 88 entries
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550 points, ended October 27, 2007, 53 entries
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550 points, ended November 2, 2007, 16 entries
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800 points, ended May 9, 2008, 10 entries
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3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1705 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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great write well done
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:)
Brilliant poem
I like the style of this
It all comes together nicely
Structured great
Good luck in my contest
From Jaz <3 -
Thank you for subjecting yourself to my review. I really like the first two stanzas. They flow very well and naturally. The third stanza however, seems to be a little awkward to me and does not seem to flow like the first two did. Not sure what cause the feeling in me. There really isn't anything concrete that I can put my finger on.
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great write i really enjoyed reading it thanks for entering the contest
best of luck to you
have a great day -
"you're losing the half that's making you whole." I really like that line. It made the poem for me. It's funny how people we think we know can change so much. Good descriptive word choices.
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oh... and good luck in the contest!
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EXCELLENT
this was amazing!!! very intelligent word-combinations with a bit pf philosophy poured within!quite simple in style and structure yet so intriguing and challanging!well done indeed!keep up! looking farward to read more of your works! -
wow. relates to me sooo well! So very well written!
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great write!
This flowed really well & I like how you switched around the last line of the 3 stanzas. The last line sums this poem up perfectly! I can definately relate. Great job!
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very well written
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Excellent!!!
This is a EXCELLENT!! peice of writting! my heart is aching for you!
I've been in the same situation many times in my life! Your words
flowed smooth and you have the special ability to make the reader
feel as though they are fight there in the moment with You! so very
much talent you have. My favorite lines are: You're a stranger for me,
a stranger for you! so very real and profound! Thank You
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powerfully expressed
this is the way of life im afraid...meeting people and finding out months later you didnt know them at all... been there one too many times. sorry you had to experience such pain and sadness, i tip my hat to you dear poet, your getting over it it seems. -
Very nice wow
I'm sorry you had to go through that. Well I'll tell you the words hit hard. You have good flow and good rhyme. I like how you switched the end to the first two stanzas. Those are some pretty strong emotions and a classical tale of a grown apart broken heart. Good job and I hope you find someone far better soon.
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An interesting write .... it is amazing how and why people change what is the reason and sometimes we never know. Your lines flowed smoothly from the page with descriptive imagery got a rhyme pattern happening but it kinda got lost in the ending. I do like the message one for life. Thank you for the pleasure of the read I did enjoy it.
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I really liked your poem and it was really well writen. You are a great writer. Great job and keep up the work.
Lindsay
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