Whispers of the words unspoken
It's a shame because I am broken
Watching my heart fall to pieces
I have no one to give my comfort
Darkness surrounding my whole body
Choking softly till I lose conscience
My whole being ripped to pieces
Self-worth has left out the door
Whispers of the words unspoken
False lies, become fatal
Is it fair that I have suffered?
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Well, Trixie, I know it;s been a while since I reviewed anything you wrote, but I really am trying to catch up!
Anyways, about the poem itself: I love it when people can say so much in so few words...It's a skill I wish I had.
It has such deep meaning. I'm sure it means even more to people who really know you, but I felt like I could feel how you feel, and I have felt this way many times before. You're probably better at dealing with it than I am though, so I'm not even gonna say anything on that front!
I also love how it's so dark. I love dark poetry, and you're porbably one fo the best authors of it I've ever read...
Congrats!!
One philosophical note before I go though (I know, I know. I'm a hypocrite): suffering isn't fair. If people were given suffering according to what they deserve, the world would be fair, but we all know it isn't! But the way I see it, if you spend your whole life feeling bad for yourself, it was all wasted right? And I think nothing would be worse than wasting your life....
~Jackie
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well penned
you have an amazing way of expressing yourself this was a pleasure to read thank you .....Michael -
so i decided o come here and waste your valuable comment space by telling you how awesome caffine is... caffine........makes......you.....go.....WWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! LALALALALALALALALALALALALALA IT IS REALLRY GREAT BECAUSE YOU GET REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY HYPER AND THEN YOU crash.... and THEN YOU DRINK SOME MORE AND YOU BECOME ADDICTED JUST LIKE ME AND WOOOO!
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Sentiments well expressed in these lines - we feel the hurt you are feeling in these words. Easy to read and understand. All go through these times, and you too will bounce back and find someone new, someone nicer and better suited to you. Good flow to the poem too.
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take heart Trixie, I know it feels hurts like Hell right now, but you have a lot of friends here willing to listen
the Satyr
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Suffering is rarely fair especially when those who suffer the most are often ones that needlessly suffer.
I like the phrasing "whispers of the words unspoken" as if you anticipate to hear what you're longing to hear, but lies suppres the truth...it's there, you can feel, but hidden from your heart. -
erm...it could use a bit more passion, otherwise its simple n curt..kinda cute..keep writing k xxx
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