Maybe I started to smell like desperation
with I love you said for you not me ~
just because you needed to hear it.
Perhaps holding your head to my breast
made us both feel that pull and push ~
kneading a notable difference
in our ultimate feelings of abandonment.
The dead air of Gone weighs heavy.
Author notes
Nursing Mother - Nestor Lopez
In a list
A contest entry
- Imagery & metaphor, 10 lines or less. by Floorboards.
370 points, ended February 27, 2007, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Nicely done and origional. That second line was kind of a mental tongue twister.
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didn't want you to get it so easily...lol...
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Nothing feels worse than creative oblivion...when possibility shinks to talk of weather...and words fall unnoticed...as both are afraid to come in out of the rain...a wonderful write...
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thank you kaibab.....see how the skin moved?
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*sigh* This is so sad. I adore it though. Because it's also so, so beautiful. But, aah! The background MOVES! Scary! Anyways...great poem. I love, love, love it.
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I forgot to warn this time...about the skin...
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nice one
nice one, i like the imagery, the last line is very powerful, well done and thanks for entering my contest,
good luck,
floorboards. -
Laced with delicious imagery here ... a very engaging picture to set the whole thing off as well. The last line is a gem.
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tks bethan-gaze.
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