gazing up at the moonlit sky
I spot the first star of the night;
oh how beautiful it is.
it's like it's gazing back at me
as if in a twisted dream
where it would follow me as I ran across a meadow.
my imagination runs away with me
as I think of all the possibilities,
with the star,
that single star,
as my guidance.
it makes me wander into unknown worlds
as I fall asleep
gazing at its magnificence.
it is so beautiful I say to myself
as I drift off
still listening contently to its quiet hum
as it carries me home for the night.
Author notes
option 14: best prewrite - in my opinion
A contest entry
- The Stars... by silent bee.
425 points, ended March 1, 2007, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 43 of 43
-
this has such lovely imagery and i felt all floaty reading it
as if in a twisted dream
where it would follow me as I ran across a meadow.
my imagination runs away with me
as I think of all the possibilities,
i could just feel myself running in the moonlight
just lovely
-
Wow
Very nicly done. I really enjoyed it. The flow of this piece was magnificent and you did not overuse your punctuation which some tend to do. I think this could have been even better if you did not use "I" so much and wrote more about the emotion and feeling, unless one of the contests called for first person view. Congratulations on your previous win! -
-
thank you
Yeah im not so sure about the "I" parts either but it was a first person view.
Thanks sooo much
-
-
great write!
-
Such a beautiful write. Imagery you used was wonderful, and the last stanza was a perfect ending "it is so beautiful I say to myself
as I drift off
still listening contently to its quiet hum
as it carries me home for the night" Overall, a great piece! It really makes the reader feel as if they are really there. Best of luck, and thanks for entering my contest
-
3 claps...9pts
Reward from The Poetic Bandits reading list
~Lilac
-
Exquisite...
A beautiful entrancing piece and the beauty you describe is of the purest joy...I can visualise the star and the delight you feel when you look up at it...a very uplifting and imaginative write, congratulations on the gold
Love and smiles...
~lilac ;f
-
-
thanks lilac. i'm glad yu could visualise the star in my poem and that you enjoyed it. thanks for commenting!
-
-
Starry Nights
This is such a good poem! I love stars as you can tell by my AP name. This is very well written, nice flow & tone, good word choice and alliteration. I so enjoyed reading this piece. Congrats on the Gold!
Peace
Debbera
-
-
thanks so much. I'm glad someone besides me loves the stars heaps. thanks for your nice comment
-
-
It is easy to see why this took a gold trophy dear, well deserved!
-
-
your so nice, thanks!!
-
-
Wonderful I believe!
It gave me such a feeling of serenity. The poem was very soft about its appearance and feeling and gave off a very peaceful vibe about it. All your words combined made it wonderful. Congratulations on the gold trophy as it was much deserved
--Tim
-
-
aw thank you
-
-
Aww how sweet and it iwas written so beautifully. I love gazing at stars. Congrats on your gold trophy.
-
-
yeah gazing at stars is nice.. you just lay down outside and stare i'm glad you enjoyed my poem, and thanks for commenting
-
-
A grand imagery of the stars in the night, words flowed with ease, Congrads on the Gold well deserved...
-
-
i'm glad you could see the imagery I tried to show thanks for your comment
-
-
Impressive presentation - great graphic here and a well award deserving poem. Liked the flow and the brevity of the lines in this poem.
-
-
thank you
-
-
very cool. i liked this piece. reminded me of the classic star over bethlehem. such a wonderful piece. stars can be so fun to write about. you did a good job on this one
Good write and God Bless
The Unrequited Writer
Ben B. -
-
i'm gald it reminds you of that, or anything for that matter Lol. thanks for commenting tho, it's appreciated muchly
-
-
LOvely write... N cheers to your trophy. I think its a beautiful work indeed. It takes me to a beautiful imaginary hideaway somehow. Thanks for sharing...
Love, Bob.
-
-
i'm glad you liked my poem and that it somehow took you to an imaginary hideaway. thanks for your lovely comment and applause, it is appriciated muchly
-
-
lovely pic. but i wanted this contest to be more for the unrecognized poet, and with the gold trophy...you're pretty recognized. im not gonna remove it but will lookat it more harshly. thanks tho, nice piece
-
-
aww ok. I just read your contest page more carefully and realised that it said that.. I must have gone past it when I entered.. sorry. completely my fault..
-
-
You took this piece in a wonderful direction to match the image. Not out of the ordinary for us to gaze upward and dream. You expressed it nicely in this piece. Well written!
~Lori
-
-
thanks so much. I wrote the poem and then realised I could use the picture I've now put with it. i'm glad you enjoyed my poem. and thank you for the nice comment and the applause.
-
-
I very much liked the last line,it sums up a starry sky and you have shared with us a little piece of its magic for you
-
-
I'm glad you enjoyed my poem and thank you for the kind comment and the applause.
-
-
Well, I didn't know a star could hum, but this was interesting.
It was original (congrats on your gold!). It reminded me, actually, of how much I take notice of lately because I so often have nothing to do. I end up day dreaming like this.
-
-
I didn't know a star could hum either.. my poem is kind of a daydream.. but kind of not if you get what I mean.. o.O anyways.. thanks for commenting.
-
-
I don't know if you literally meant a star or whether the star is symbolic but either way you did a great job at conveyind how alluring and tempting you find that star to be. I'm a country girl at heart and I miss that stars terribly since I've come to college. Ah, well, I'll get back there someday. Very nice imagery here.
-
-
I kind of literally meant a star but I don't mind if you found it to be symbolic. we all have different opinions. thanks for the comment.
-
-
I live where when you look into the night sky it is filled with the beauty of stars. Well done write. Pen on!
-
-
thanks. your comment is much appreciated.
-
-
Amazingly Beautiful
Stars are incredible. Just watching them ardently brings a sense of good feeling. I've taken few strolls under the glow of the moonlight and whenever I do, I never fail to gaze up to see the stars that are softly twinkling.
Great Piece!
The gold trophy seems so deserving....Congratulations!
-
-
thank you! yes I never fail to look up at the stars either. they are beautiful.
-
-
Beautifully Done
Thank you very much for entering this contest. I may add much more of a comment later on since there are so many other submissions.
You may want to keep in mind that I will try to open more of the same contests one after another if I can earn enough feedback to do so which I must say would be truly appreciated. Altogether, I hope this will also give everybody a glimpse at one of you're favorite accomplishments which hopefully in turn inspire them to look at what else you've got. -
great write. i loved the lines "it's like it's gazing back at me / as if in a twisted dream / where it would follow me as I ran across a meadow." this is such a powerful and imaginative poem. great to read. thanks for entering the contest and best of luck!
-
-
thank you for the gold. i appriciate it and i'm glad that you enjoyed my poem.
-
-
Now, this I like...
...especially the penultimate line where you say it's making a noise. Good imagination. You will go far, far, far my child. Stars are cool, hot as they may be.
-
-
Lol thanks Tony. but i doubt that I will go far.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 43 of 43
