drum roll please maestro
this soup is too thick
for the usual sheen seen
from this table mountain
bring on the band
play me a vision
that I see with my feet
& cannot but tap toes too
dancing in the street
in celebration
let me grab a girl
by the waist
& floor her
with new calibrations
to this tempo
teasing new chances
into the place of mat
up periscope
I seek to peek places
that I haven't seen
to travel the length
& breadth of moments
that pursue time
til it presses
particles of you
into me
let tubular bells ring
us a new dawn
through leaden atmosphere
we can claim today
as a time-piece
to read again
in sweet
sweet memory
Author notes
NB Anonymous contest entry.
A contest entry
- Fog by ea.
390 points, ended February 27, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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All the senses come alive with this write, you have done a fabulous job in this I hope you do very well in the contest
Karen -
Yours is the second poem I've come to read written to the "fog" theme of this contest, and gosh EA is gonna have a time of it judging this one!
I love the sensations of sound and touch even aside from sight that you have drawn through this poem--("play me a vision I can see with my feet" are lines I wish I had written)!
Have I told you how much I've grown to admire your writing more-and-more each poem? I DO!!!
Jo
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This is very interesting and upbeat and takes such a different approach to the photo that I can't help smiling. I like the image of the tubular bells. Very creative. Thank you for this entry.
-
Beautiful. Real art. I loved it.
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I really liked your poem and it was really well writen. You are a great writer. Great job and keep up the work.
Lindsay -
Wow! You go!! Excellent piece. Excellent flow. Just plain excellent!
I could hear the band and the rhythm and the electricity. Nicely done.
John
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"play me a vision
that I see with my feet"
Loved those lines and how they tie in with the fog theme here. And the periscope up was delightful too. Great writing as always - fresh and original!
~ Nicolette
-
tapping my toes too girl
loved the up periscope line too
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