Pretty in pictures,
Ugly in tears.
Why must we be,
So shallow; so dumb?
So cheap; so surfaced?
So rough; so harsh?
This word is turning solely,
On false image and jealousy
You could sink a stone,
And the top would remain dry,
In this shallow lake,
Of population astray.
Fingers down throats,
Vomiting our black lives.
The putrid smell of heartache,
Rabid in this stream.
False imagery to women,
Showing such lies,
Of pretty in pictures,
Playing tricks on our eyes.
Pretty in pictures,
Ugly in tears.
Blood flows down -
Into an endless abyss.
Skeletal frames shown to be,
Pretty in pictures,
But oh so rank in tears.
Sickening smells of decaying flesh;
Poor girls with shot dreams.
The media is a puzzle;
The use is skin deep.
The killing is below,
In the shallow grounds.
Put down your gun,
Slip off the trigger,
Stop selling the false image,
Pretty in pictures.
Thoughts are destroyed,
Bright futures hunted -
In the lifeless dank air.
Stop silencing our thoughts,
As they slice through our brains,
Killing girls silently.
The media murders,
The beauty of our earth.
The politicians wonder,
The murders plunder.
The answer is clear,
It’s on the front page,
Selling the fake image,
Pretty in pictures,
Oh so dead in tears.
A contest entry
- Brittany Spears by blindingblur.
370 points, ended March 12, 2007, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Image Contest: Dark and Pretty Pictures by The Misty One.
450 points, ended March 19, 2007, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I LikeOptions! Yes i DO! I like options how about you! by edit my world..
581 points, ended October 8, 2007, 18 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Eating Disorders and Depression by BarbedWireButterfly.
900 points, ended July 16, 2008, 35 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ashamed to be Human by Death of the Author.
450 points, ended August 31, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ashamed to be Human - Collection Point I by Death of the Author.
450 points, ended September 20, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Speak out! by Luna Argintie.
930 points, ended September 9, 2008, 205 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Really like the first 3 lines...and most of it really. Definitely has a lyrical quality and I think with a bit of tinkering this could make a good little song.
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An interesting write. It held my attention and the word flow was harsh and jagged, quiet an interesting flow. I'd definetly consider you for the finalists but all the other trophies make me a bit uh about that. I'll see how the other poems pan out =D thank you for entering and good luck.
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Hahah that's ok, I understand
I'm pretty proud of how well this one has gone previously, because it was one of the first poems I ever wrote. And rule of thumb says the first poems I did were terrible
But thanks for the feedback
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my pleasure. I liked your style of writting and if I remember and have a bit of time on my hands I'll definetly read some more. I have another contest running, if you'd like feel free to enter it. The more entries the better =D
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Oh Please! no need to apologize on prewrites...[if that comment was for me]
i left that open just incase people cant do things off the top of their heads i know i cant!
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society these days...just so fucked up in ways...i loved this so much...
Like im not freakishly skinny or over weight so im kinda average and ya know...when ur average body weight its like noone gives a damn its either skinny or no...anyway! thankies for the entering
++finalist++
TheSpork Princess
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hahaha cheers, the comment was for you.
By the way I'm a boy
bahaha
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damn it!
something about this made me think u were a girl...my bad. lol
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I was struck, imemdiately by the way you have thought upon, and written truths... this is awesome.. "You could sink a stone
And the top would remain dry"
What a way to drive iamges home!!! And this is only one of many that sunk like that stone, into my reality. -
It's very true. Society sometimes leaves me devastated with it and pretty ashamed. I mean, we should all be good to each other, but we are not. We should all respect differences, but we don't. I could go on for hours on all these topics, but nowhere would I get. Very beautifully put.
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"Pretty in pictures
Ugly in tears"
I adore that line.
This was great.
The meaning was stunning.
I feel as if some parts of this was repetitive, Like you allready conveyed that message but then other portions left me breathless.
Great job <3 -
I enjoyed the meaning behind this, I had a feeling that this was going to be a popular quote. Hell I sure found it powerful. I have a few ideas and questions with this piece though, so I'll get down to it
In line 5 is it supposed to be "surfaced" or "selfish"? I wasn't quite sure that "surfaced" fit, which is why I'm asking.
The other line I wasn't sure about was "Vomiting our black lives". Looking at it I thought "up" would work better than "our".
I was unsure at the number of times you used the word "putrid" while it works wonderfully the first time I have found the more you use one word through out a poem the less impact it has.
The last thing I have to comment on is the structure of the poem itself. In the beginning it is incredibly short and to the point then as the piece goes on it slowly lengthens. Is this a deliberate attempt to point something out and I have missed it or was it accidental?
Anyway, thank you for entering and best of luck, sorry if I've babbled too much. -
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Thanks!!!
Thanks for the comment, really appreciate your excellent feedback
1) "Surfaced" is used to reinforce the point of the world being shallow.
2) I considered using "up", but "our" worked better because it made it more personal... kinda showing that it is our faults that we are being killed by this epidemic.
3) Hahha it is true, this is one of the first poems I ever wrote, way back in high school - so I wasn't a veyr advanced writter. I thought using the word "putrid" heaps would reinforce the point, but I did overuse it.
4) I hate typical structures and flow, I try to chop and change things and use my own structures and go against the flow. Sometimes this works terribley, but I have found that alot of the time it works wonders. And in my opinion I think it has worked awesomely in this poem.
Anyhoo, thanks for the very insightful feeback. Appreciate it greatly.
Much Love.
Trent.
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This poem is just amazing and it's so true. So many girls are obsessed with Hollywood and will do anything to look like those women who are slowly killing themselves in an attempt to remain beautiful. The media is very shallow and fickle. Your poem displayed this extremely well. This is a great write, keep it up!
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This is a great poem, it's so true. So very true...Thank you for entering the contest and good luck!!
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Congrats on getting the gold! You wrote a belter here and deserve to win. x
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Thanks heaps!
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Just when I thought the poems couldn't get any better I come across this one of yours which is outstanding! It works because not only do you highlight valid points about the media circus but it is the undercurrent of sadness that hits the spot and lines like "pretty in pictures, playing tricks on our eyes" really drive it home. Splendid.
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this is an amazing poem. i can feel the anger toward the media, and the people who support it, as well as the compassion toward these lost souls. The imagery in this is so harsh but so true. thankyou so much for entering and sharing these thoughts. good luck!
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Definitely Agree with all that you have said..
In a way I have to agree with you. And though I do, I have to say, it seems like a tug of war within the media ranks as well as the industry itself. In that, the media seems to take on so many different views on being slim or what some consider overweight in the industry or the media. It is of course about looks, that is what drives the drivetrain of the industry which in turn supports the media and vice-versa. It is a beast that some celebrities get eaten sometimes alive by. Right now, this is the culmination I believe, with which, what has happened to Brittany? It's really non of our business. But, the media which is driven by the industry and again...vice-versa makes sure it is. And to me that is a disgrace and a dishonor to the very souls (celebrities) whom in such an indirect and many times more of an unwanton way, put $$$ into these same paparazzi [or... puppets whom feed the sharks (media)] pockets!! In essence, that their very existence depends on biting off the hands that feed them. To me this has always shown how disrespectful media as well as the industry have become to their own stars. They lay a path for destruction before the celebrity sometimes even has a chance!!! Models, I feel sorry for, because many have actually died from bulemia and anorexia. The Olson twins, the barbi twins, ...many celebs included. There should be regulations on how far the industry and the media can go with the respect and privacy all citizens, celeb or not are to be afforded. I am sure there are such laws already in place and set with rigorous precedence, but it obviously seems ...not to be enough. Awsome Freewrite with this one, you made me really think about how unfortunate it is to be a celebrity these days.
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