I fell into a deep slumber
only to be awake in my dreams
in my fantasy world
of crimson trees and dragons;
Fiery breath and pixies
mixed into new creatures of power and might.
Skeletons hanging from the sky
while gremlins swim in lava
their favorite thing to do;
I walk silently
like death
and wearing a garment of pure silk
barely touching my smooth skin;
My feet make no sound as I walk across the fields of fire
and all eyes rest on me
I take no notice as I head towards my destiny
Not even the devil could stop me now;
My long brown hair dangling
brushing against my face ever so lightly,
while I walk silently
like death.
I meet my ride,
a unicorn is the only thing honorable enough
for a queen of such a dark world;
Face to face with my enemy
I summon my powers
and prepare for battle against their warrior of evil.
My powers making lightning in the sky
and their treacherous serpent staring me in the eye.
I strike!
Then I awaken..
Author notes
did have a picture that went with it, but sadly i havent been able to pay for my membership on AP so it doesnt show anymore
A contest entry
- Inspirational options by th3sl4y3r.
700 points, ended March 29, 2007, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Your Personal Best #3 (Prewrites Allowed) by aGent Lemon.
360 points, ended March 21, 2007, 27 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - TONS OF OPTIONS!!! Please enter and give it a try, I want a lot more entries! by perfectsunset.
450 points, ended September 7, 2007, 63 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Imagine a world by Bullets.
1000 points, ended June 9, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites :) Yes, as many as you like, but hell this wont be simple. by xxRainbowDawnxx.
700 points, ended November 3, 1094 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 39 of 39
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Ooooo lovely dear! I love your imagery! It gives me a really awsome picture. :]
Good luck
-Bullets -
You really seem to have a great imagination! May you never lose it, no matter what life throws your way! Nice poem! -Tearyeyed
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amazing poetry
Skillfully written with excellent imagery and flow - I like this a lot.
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great write
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This picture is perfect for the poem!! I love it =)
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Put your user name in the author box.
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this is an execllent piece by you... it was abso lutly fantastic. and i enjoyed reading it. i too have a dream fantasy world... though not'n so dark as yours. may your dreams come true under the eyes of neptune.
and good luck!
~lostelvenchild
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This was great fantasy piece! I really enjoyed reading it. Great descriptions and elaborations. I love the imagery, I could really picture all of it in my mind. My fav. lines "skeletons hanging from the sky
while gremlins swim in lava
their favourite thing to do;
i walk silently
like death" Best of luck, and thank you for entering my contest
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Cool Topic! I like the style in this piece, when I read it I almoust feel the rhyme, so smooth is the flow an the progression of the story. Great read! Thanks for the entry.
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Wow! I absolutely loved this! this is an excellent piece of writing, you did a great job with this, thanks again for sharing, beautiful!
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You know if I were you I'd wake up screaming!
You described that so well....and geez..that was scary!
Its a great poem.
Congrats on the gold and bronze! -
This was a very interesting poem.
I could almost picture it in my head, and I liked that about the poem. It gives the reader a new sense of imagination and dreams.
I do agree that the picture goes perfectly with the poem and before I read your authors notes, I thought that you wrote the poem about the picture.
Just one thing, please tell me in your authors comments what option this poem falls under. Apart from that it's fine.
You do have strong talent. Thank you for entering. -
this was a really great write and i enjoyed reading that alot....it flowed very smoothly and i really liked this poem keep writting your talented
~Chrissy~ -
this is a really great write. and what a fantasy world! I especially love the lines:
"a unicorn is the only thing honourable enough
for a queen of such a dark world;"
They are just beautiful! -
You're good in using imagery with well thought words and I like this piece a lot. I could see the scenes before me when I read this one and I like that about a poem. Wonderful work, definately worth the gold
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of crimson trees and dragons;
i love that line. congratulations on the gold trophy you have earned in this contest. viyanna rosemarie
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Awesome Imagery!!!!!!
I really like this poem, the imagery is great.. I really like these lines....
"i walk silently
like death
and wearing a garmet of pure silk
barely touching my smooth skin;
my feet make no sound as i walk across the fields of fire
and all eyes rest on me
i take no notice as i head towards my destiny
not even the devil could stop me now;
my long brown hair dangling
brushing against my face ever so lightly,
while i walk silently
like death.
i meet my ride,
a unicorn is the only thing honourable enough
for a queen of such a dark world;"
I could see and feel the entire poem...
so wonderfully written, well done!!!
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Very Intense
Thank you very much for entering this contest. I may add much more of a comment later on since there are so many other submissions.
You may want to keep in mind that I will try to open more of the same contests one after another if I can earn enough feedback to do so which I must say would be truly appreciated. Altogether, I hope this will also give everybody a glimpse at one of you're favorite accomplishments which hopefully in turn inspire them to look at what else you've got. -
This is very well written, nice imagery I'm getting from this... It flows extremly well, I like the descriptions of the creatures in this fantasy/dream land...
thank you for entering my contest.. I will comment further on judging..
peace and light always... -
weel done mate you did well
cass xx
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thank you for you poem good luck
lori xxxxx -
wow, this poem and pic really do go well together. thanks for entering it in my contest
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nice pic and even nice(er) words... great job and thanks for entering, sounds like a place that all would like to visit, as long as we got powers too
- Jacen an IndividualEleven.
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interesting definaetly very fantasy
thanks for enteringthe contest
good luck and best of wishes to you
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Wow, this is really awesome. I love the imagery as everyone else has already stated. I also think it flows really well. Nice work.
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Not Bad
You are right that you found the perfect picture for it.. it makes the latter part of your poem quite nicely. Some vivid imagery and some good alliteration here and there. Thanks for entering my contest and I wish you luck. -
not bsd its alriught and good
well done
good luck
cassie xx -
wowwwww my daughters (lori1) not read this yet she'll have nightmares lol excellent write though you have an imazing imagination
laura xxx -
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Awesome picture it is, too. Thanks for your great entry... I especially love the skeletons hanging from the sky... very cool. Good luck!
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i quite enjoyed it. full of imagery as everyone else pointed out. unfortunately, my contest only allows prewrites written in the month of march. this appears to be 2 days shy...
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aw. well that's a pity. oh well, your loss =]
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great write i loved the imagry good luck in the contest
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Really well done, I like how you have been able to bring life to the image and tell a dark tale where you are the darkest!!
Awesome, well done good luck in my contest,
Brenden -
I don't know exactly how to comment on these. My strength in poetry is towards rhyming poems, not free verse. I like the images you portray, but to me, I don't see much difference between this and a short story. Not to be mean at all, I really like these dreams, your imagination is very vivid!
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Beautifully surreal
I must admit you've rather impressed me here. Very vivid story with some great detail. You told the story with excellent grace and I love the ending as it ended much like a dream. Very creative effect there and worthy of my applause.
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wow, that was great. i could see your fantasy land so clearly. wonderful work.
cookies for suxh a vivid poem
~E M O~ -
Fantastic!!!
Fantastic -- this, I guess, a right word to explain my feelings... You made a really nice job, writing this poem! That's just so great and interesting to read it! Very nice that you'd added the picture as well, so that I even got the full image in my head...
You really made a great poem...
Thank You for sharing it with everyone!
Best Regards,
~G.J~
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