talk to me
let me listen
and be captured
by each
and
every
last
word.
let me escape my world
and enter yours
and explore
seeing each
and
every
vivid
memory
let me share your burdens
hand them to me
we'll struggle together
with each
and
every
step.
GOD GIVE ME STRENGTH
to encourage, to support
and to
help
them........overcome
Author notes
its the beginning of a thought process of mine, i may continue it
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
Interesting; sounds like someone is crying out for help but not in a physical way, more asking someone to come and sit with them for a time? Perhaps I took a meaning that you didn't intend from that
However, I enjoyed it - as I am finding myself to be enjoying most of your works!
-
Thats really different to other poems i have read. But really good
-
An interesting piece...
An interesting piece; it's important to have interaction with other people - an exchange of ideas is a great way to gain insight and understanding without having to endure the pain directly; the Bible is full of such examples of learning "from the mistakes others"; good job. --Joe
-
It seems to me that although the sentiments are fine and real this is merely a number of prose sentences shaped into verses. I think the poet could do more to create something stronger with these ideas. Might be an idea to find a formal poetic style - cinquain, sonnet etc - that you can use to advantage. Free verse should be more than shaped prose, don't you think
? -
^_^
interesting -
Very nicely done, and I like the form. I do have one niggle: the last stanza, "them"...to whom does the word apply? You shift the focus from speaking to to a person (you), to speaking to God. Perhaps if you change the verb to "GOD GIVES ME..." or "GOD CAN GIVE ME...", then the word "them" to "you". Just a suggestion.
Still, very nicely penned.
Thank you for sharing.
rous
-
This is wonderful! I like it! "GOD GIVE ME STRENGTH
to encourage, to support
and to
help
them"
My favorite part!
Great write!
-
This is wonderful. I enjoyed this so much. God give us strenght. God bless you my friend. And keep penning here.
In Christ Jesus,
Tabitha -
An enjoyable write...
An enjoyable write; the message is wonderfully apropriate - we must support and encourage one another; edifying the body will bring unexpected blessings upon us; nicely done. --Joe
Maybe you would like one of my poems -
"Original Sins"
The link is: http://allpoetry.com/poem/2514970 -
Scary thought, someone entering and seeing into my little head space
It's good to have someone to talk to and who will really listen at times you need a friend the most. This is a really nice, sweet and compassionate poem, well done
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
