crippled by beauty,
I crawl
between worn down ankles
sprouting rip-off stilettos
(designed to crush a man's ego;
and make my mouth water.)
Oh,
and don't we all wish for
the kind of confession
-I know-
is waiting for
[.. just a glimpse... of humility
from such a monster like]
me.
but the flush of a toilet-
the canvas of sins
swirling together until they all
-vanish-
is [SO MUCH] easier
than dealing.facing.acknowledging.
and whatever's gonna happen at the end of this world,
I can promise you this:
by the end of the night,
or at least of my life,
I will -RID
myself of =everything=
you ever.
said you
"loved"
Author notes
sorry this is horrible
kay.
love you -crashhers
In a list
- i will n.e.v.e.r. reach perfection. • next in list
- free loves.. • next in list
- I Wanna Feel You Scream;; • next in list
- 4-9-9-6 • next in list
A contest entry
- Only For My Glitter Glam Whores by No Room To Breathe.
900 points, ended March 2, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - &&im.your.intoxication by Zombie-x.
450 points, ended March 5, 2007, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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this does nor suck at all!
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I agree witrth the comment below;
this part was my favoriteee:
"but the flush of a toilet-
the canvas of sins
swirling together until they all
-vanish-"
I love it.
I love it.
The thoughts about what's gonna
happen to her at the end of the world
are a great inclusion. [or smthg? lol]
Awesome. :]
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lol, thank you soo much ! =]
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gerat write ...congrats on the gold...love the toilet bowl-canvas of sins imagery...well done
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thanks! =]
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Somehow I have no problem placing second to this poem. ^.^
Still wonderful babycakes.
~Slip~ -
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yeah, I don't like it much either, if you couldn't tell by my author comment lol.
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lol, you mean instead of 1st?
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thisssssssssssss
doesn't suck AT ALL!
very dirty pretty.
like it a lot.
drugged up and dreamy.
the way it should be.
love you doll
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too tired to say more than
WOWZER
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hey, you're ON! woooh.
=]
you're adorable. and I love you.
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I thought this was awesome - You always seem to be able to bring life to your poetry so naturally and with such strong emotions - when i saw you had something new posted i just couldnt wait to read
Youve got some clever lines in here too. .this one jumped out at me:
"sprouting rip-off stilettos
(designed to crush a man's ego;
and make my mouth water.)"
Haha. Nice work!! Keep up the outrageously creative poetry - youve got style & you know how to use it! Best luck in the contest.
_nOva
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thank you sooo much n0va! you're so amazingly ......
charming? [i'm having a blank.]
=]
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Dude, I loved this. You've got to stop saying that your stuff sucks!!! It never does! Of course, some of your poems have an elegant brilliance to them that some of your others do not, but that's simply everyone's problem in poetry. (in life really, sort of like a bad day)
This was fabulous. I heart it.
Favorite, favorite, FAVORITE lines
between worn down ankles
sprouting rip-off stilettos
(designed to crush a man's ego;
and make my mouth water.)
Those were *MWAH* I love them.
~Slip~
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awwww! you're WAY too sweet!! <--- you make me smile like that. [minus the whole yellowy-face part]
yeah, I know it must get annoying saying "oh this sucks blah blahblah"... but I really am just apologizing to the contest holder because I wish I could do something better. {scowl}
hmmp.
well, I'm very fuzzy inside from your comment!
♥ you.
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amazing
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thaaanks!
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"between worn down ankles
sprouting rip-off stilettos
(designed to crush a man's ego;
and make my mouth water.)"
"but the flush of a toilet-
the canvas of sins
swirling together until they all
-vanish-"
.
.
.
God. If you think this sucks ass, I'd love to know what you REALLY think of my poetry. I love it hun;; you're incredible && I just MUST sex you up. =]
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hm.
can I just say something???
you know those creeps online that your mommy [should've] warned you about??
well. if I ever got ahold of your address or anything...
I'd probably turn into one in about .2 seconds. then I'd steal you away forever... =]
[just to let you know.]
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Breaking a man's ego ... oh, how often have I had the chance to do this but I back down because I have some sort of future guilt. Pfft. As if I should have cared. I guess we can all be monsters sometimes. I like this one.
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girl monsters= sexy.
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I will -RID
myself of =everything=
you ever.
said you
"loved" ?
simply stunning.
♥
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simply stunning?
yes you are!!!
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SWEETIE.
Okay so I won't comment on both accounts.
BUT
aaha I know it's you because I'm not on the contest holding account thingy. [what ever]
This;;
Does NOT suck. no no no no.
"the flush of a toilet-
the canvas of sins
swirling together until they all
-vanish-
is [SO MUCH] easier
than dealing.facing.acknowledging."
"between worn down ankles
sprouting rip-off stilettos
(designed to crush a man's ego;
and make my mouth water.)"
lalaloooooveyou babyy♥ -
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i L ♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥VE you!!!!!!!!!!!
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between worn down ankles
sprouting rip-off stilettos
love that line
mwah
xxx -
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I MEEEEESEEE YOOOOHH. [
]
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first off, rid yourself of the stilettos. I did, early on; you don't have to opt out for Birkenstocks but Keds might be fun.
♥
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hahah
♥
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between worn down ankles
sprouting rip-off stilettos
(designed to crush a man's ego;
and make my mouth water.)
love this LOOOTS. the imagery is really creative. beautiful. <33 -
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thank you chels! <33
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