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Vapors

 

As we abide by the different spectrum

sapphire vapors blow, cold as ice,

evoking mournful emotions

as susurrant voices fill my mind.

 

Ideas seem banal, old, and bland,

thoughts clash in a chimerical fashions.

 

Visions of the future are fierce trepidations

that glower from alleyway dumpsters

as words crow, full of deprecation,

a sickly banter inside my head.

 

Encumbrances of the past weigh my shoulders,

cogent thoughts are long past due.

 

Candles are snuffed by pungent breezes,

as we forget the ludicrous expectations

and walk hand in hand down a tortuous path.

 

Mordant comments still sting cheeks,

as we give into deadly avarice,

bestowing of unwelcome responsibilities.

 

The following of tragically lost love,

grief an invincible juggernaut in the dark,

Homicidal in its erratic nature.

 

Suspicion raised against chaste beings,

everyone else utterly indifferent.

 

The battle recondite and meaning little,

obdurating enemies blind to true words,

sardonic comments veiled as gentle quips,

 

The raucous laughter harsh,

making people cringe,


Anger is grief's cruel vituperator,

adamant in making everything worse.

 

So I take one last drag, my bitter solace

and watch simple facades drift merrily by,

grinding remaining thoughts under boot

as I abscond into darkness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Option 1
(Image by joleneisme at deviantart.com)

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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • animated lies
    April 2, 2007

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    I see you have an extensive vocabulary, but I think it really overpowers this poem to the point that its hard to tell what you're talking about.
  • IntraVenousCaffine
    April 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I think the words over-power the poem and make visualization and meaning hard to grasp. I guess considering what you had to work with, it was not an easy assignment.
    Good job on winning the gold!

  • Midnight-x-Rose
    March 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Such a clever write penned here. It is difficult to piece all these words together but I think throughout it all you managed the most part to make the poem make sense, to speak out and to have meaning. Well done.

  • Lady-Pegasus
    March 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    powerful write with vivid imagery to be certain. I did find the form with the colors a bit distracting, but thats personal preference I think, more than anything. Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e *

  • dragontuba
    March 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love how you invision the setting...yes It gives me images......vapors..the title matches the on-going lines of this write,,,I love the pic..very good indeed...

    Abide by the different spectrum,

    Sapphire vapors cold as ice

    great begining and a dark alley way end...love it three cheers all the way...good luck in the contest...

    Best Of Wishes
    dragontuba


  • exalted
    February 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You used the wordbank words pretty well. Sometimes it seems like you used an overload of them, but there are good lines here. One I like is "Candles sunffed by pungent breezes" and another is "Taking one last drag, my bitter solace." Oh, and wicked picture by the way. It matches great with your poem

  • Cylis
    February 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I like this. I like the fact that it really doesn't try to rhyme. It's nice when people just let the words speak for themselves. I really can't tell the emotional impact of this poem. It's really, really good. Bravo!


  • star wars fanatic
    February 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    I absolutely love all of the elegant wording used in this piece. It had a very magical air to it. Very nice job, indeed!

  • faderman1959 silver member
    February 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This was amazing! So good! The story you told with the words from the word bank was excellent.Your picture fit the poem perfectly making an even greater impact for the poem. I think this is the best I have read of yours fo far! Great write!!!!!!

1 - 9 of 9