“Let me go”

I WANT YOU TO KNOW I WROTE THIS FOR YOU! I THOUGHT OF THIS BECAUSE OF YOU! AND I WOULD DO IT IF I THOUGHT IT WOULD GET YOU BACK!

I see them all around me now.
Those happy lovers in their dreaming daze.
Oh how recently I was among their dreams.
The wilted petals thrown across the room.
A broken vase now lay in shards.
My memories keep spinning, spinning.
The words are screaming in the walls.
Give me my own gentle peace.
The pills have sent me straight to sleep.
Its only there that I’m ok, that I’m with you.
The scars lay open now,
I lay waiting to bleed out.
Dripping, dripping on the floor.
They all tried to warn me,
But where are they now?
You said “always” and I believed you,
Aren’t I the fool?
I said “forever” and I meant it,
Twice the fool am I.
I hear the opening of doors,
Your footsteps I know so well.
The light switched on yet I see nothing.
Staring too deeply into my mind.
A break of the silence then what is this?
Cries? Over me?
You had no sympathy for me when she smiled.
Teasing you, is that what you say?
“How can you do this to me?” You screamed
As though you cared that I was leaving you behind.
Taking me up into your arms.
To hold me as the heart you destroyed’s beating slowed.
“You did this to me…” I spoke through shallow breaths.
“Don’t give up…Oh God what have I done?” You scream and scream.
Tears hitting my cheeks from your sobs.
“Let me go….I did this for you.” I managed to look into your eyes again.
“How can you say that?” I could make out through the sobs.
“You can have her now, don’t you love her?”
Only wordless sobs answer my call.
You just wouldn’t let me fade out, bleed out, black out.
You tried, the hospital tried, my own body tried.
Not a one could save me.
The heart can beat against the minds will.
I lay there, in that hospital bed, waiting and waiting.
Staring wordlessly at the wall.
My hands bound for my protection.
You stayed…until you thought I was dead asleep.
I listened to you call her, how your voice changed from sobs to joy.
I speak up only once more “Was she worth it?”
The body goes on living but the mind has surely faded.
I am this empty shell, I am this broken wind up doll.
As I watch the clock go ticking ticking.
I won’t mess up next time……………………………………………………*Erin*