How can I tell you
that I saw your smile,
a picture in his wallet-his wife you are.
How can I tell you
that I took your smile,
a picture in his heart-his lover I am.
Author notes
I hope this says what I saw in the picture...
picture credit: Daeni Pino
A contest entry
- A challenge by Lavender Butterfly.
390 points, ended February 27, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This is excellent! I can see how you got this from the picture. Great job, Sweetie! Good luck in the contest. Hugs, Patricia
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Oh my,six lines that split the universe,darn this is intense and yet poignant,well done indeed for so few words making such an impact,the second stanza was a complete surprize and an ahh and an ouch at the same time,powerful but with a sotto voice.Kudos
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OOh, so deceptive! A terrific piece, filled with creativity and depth. Thanks so much for sharing. Love and light, Butterfly.
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Very good entry!
I should think that you have captured the painting with succinct thoughts that are punctuated only by the expression of the seated woman! Though the message almost makes me un-smile, there is a lot of non-fiction certifying truth in it. Nice job and good luck in the contest! joy
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thanks sweetieyes, I do believe thaere could be some non-fiction in these words. The look on that woman's face says a lot..
much love
xoxoxoxo
reenie
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Oh very well done.
I had to read it a few times before I completely understood.
You did a very good job.
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thank you for the kind comment,
reenie
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