Tamed beasts from high streets
with loose hands and loose feet
concrete seems to be the battle ground
one sound surrounds the entire town
I found to be particular
the motion from the earth atmosphere moves circular
yet stops when I see her
with one look shes capable of whatever
she posseses bueaty of a goddess
there is nobody better
indulged by her pretty blues
one look could split the world in two
and if I were to lose you
emptyness...
dont know what I'd do
In a list
A contest entry
- Soul Mates by trista.
500 points, ended March 1, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Your poem is quite different from the others that were entered in my contest, and I appreciate having that variety. We all perceive love, the concept of "soul mates", as well as other things, differently. It is from this that we can learn and grow. You have some fantastic imagery in this poem. I can picture a busy, rushing city in the first lines, which make me wonder where the poem is going. From there you take me to "her", and by the end I see the deep feelings you have and hopefully share. There isn't a word here that I didn't enjoy.
Thank you again for your entry and good luck in the contest.
All the best,
~J.
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This is simple but says everything that needs saying. I loved the line about splitting the world in two; I've not ever heard it described quite like that before, but it is exactly as I've felt a time or two. Thank you so much for your entry and good luck. I will be making final comments after the contest closes.
Best wishes,
~J.
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