Upon the outside i smile and i laugh
but deep within i feel dark and so
very,very isolated way beyond alone
I take care of people who can not take
care of them self, when i am at work
i put all my hidden feelings on a shelf
I see pictures of there families with
grand children that they have, i smile
and smile but deep inside i am very mad
and so very sad
I think of who they are and where they
have been, for if they die the people i
take care of, they have family that carries
each one of there personal.spiritual names
For i am the youngest but yet i am so very
old, as i see children born my inner sad
ness makes me ever so cold
One of life's greatest gift is to become a
Dad, why was i never chosen, to me that
makes me full of anger and so very mad
I feel as i sometimes want to die, to tell you all
that is no lie, for this will be my legacy as i write
on this site, as i hope if i die that some one will
remember me and that is no lie
If i die tomorrow for who will remember me within time
as i feel no one would spend a dime
Love lost is better than love never gained, i see children
this is my inner deep pain
For what is a man if he cannot pass on his name, in life i have
lost that personal game.
I walk the thin line of normal and insane, for what in life have i
really gained
No one to to carry on my simple fucking name, in life i feel so
alone and chained and along with that so very,very drained
So as the Title reads, Sadness and life's greatest gift why was I
the one that God Had to stiff
(Evans)
Adding your comment:
Sad, but very, very well written, and I sincerely hope you're feeling better 
Valerie 
