Ghostly light fluttering
through a labyrinth
of darkened hallways
The pungent stench
of failure hangs in the air
like a dense fog
Hollow illusions
induced from a cocktail
of Lithium and god knows what else
Frail minds frantically
trying to make sense of
incoherent dreams that constantly merge
Bodies crumble to the floor
amid the hushed abyss
of stained desire
This way of life
shrouded in secrecy
becomes an obsession
The mystic allure of drugs
leaves souls detached, defiled
and ultimately they perish
Tragic, yet stark reality
In this world some refer to
As the field of needles.
**********
Copyright: S.Venus (aka Errant Panther)
Author notes
I used the title "Field of Needles" and the following 26 words from the bank: ghostly, fluttering, stain(ed), frail, defile(d), detach(ed), induced, stark, incoherent, merge, shrouded, hushed, desire, perish, obsession, tragic, Lithium, mystic, allure, dense, abyss, frantic(ally), crumble, secrecy, hollow and labyrinth.
Viyanna Rosemarie: Should my poem be selected for printing in the book for "Chance" I hereby grant permission to use this piece without charge provided that all due credit and copyright for this poem is assigned to me.
A contest entry
- ♥Wordbank and titles contest♥ by OurxBeginning.
500 points, ended March 25, 2007, 41 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - x |Heroin| x by Dead Star--x.
300 points, ended April 16, 2007, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Addiction♥ by angelcalled666.
600 points, ended July 5, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest On Drug/Alcohol Addiction (Huge Points) by Viyanna Rosemarie.
20000 points, ended March 12, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Good poem EP
. Pretty dark imagery and although I didn't use hammer, from what I've seen over the years, your poem hits the mark in a lot of areas, and mostly built from a word bank! Well done.
Sincerely -Emmjay
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I would like to thank you so much for this wonderful entry into the book for chance. you have done a great job in expressing addiction's hold without suggesting that one try it for themselves. i wish you the best of luck in this contest. viyanna roesmarie
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good, darling.
I like it.
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Ohhh, very creepy & different. The ending is so true. Crumbling into a field of needles or what not. =D I like it.
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How you came up with that from that word bank I will never know. I would have still been sitting trying to figure out where to start. This is wonderful, the flow is perfect, the imagery leaves very little to the imagination. You have created something that the reader can easily understand. Well done, I loved it.
Claire -
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Thank you for your sincere comments, greatly appreciative.
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Hmmm, very different from many of the entries and I like that. Very rich in emotion and truth. You used the words very well and weaved them to fit your write perfectly. Always sad when people fall into what you've mentioned. Thank you for entering and good luck. ~
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well done, good luck
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Hard to believe this was a word bank, you wove it into a believable story of drug addition. Great job.
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Thank you for those kind words, it was a challenge to write but it melded together so well in the end. I used about two thirds of the word bank but if I tried to use any more than I did (minimum was 10) it would have weakened the piece dramatically.
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sadly..this is true. And ya know.. not just heroin uses needles to get people high. Meth too. I have an ex friend who is addicted to shooting up Meth.. and it is sad. He has no respect for others let alone himself. I guess we live and learn... and those sorts of people are sent to us to test us.. This was a great write. Good luck in the contest sweety.
Love,
~Krys~
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A very deep look through poetry at the world today,
sigh.. Stats say most young Men in their twenties,
have either tried or are addicted to heroin, sigh..
you have captured so much through your words,
thank you so much for sharing.
as always warm thoughts
Frozentearz
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