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dystopia

you dream,you soar
in mirth entwined
then dawn wakes you up to a bitter reality...




utopia (by gothchyld):
you sleep, you gaze
you are in blissful ignorance
in Eden's garden of idealistic havens

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • XFaLLen-StarX
    March 3, 2007

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    aah!! much petter !!! oh nd the extra part of ur wifey is jst gr8 ! actually i liked it more
    but one wouldnt be without the other, both are mesmerizin !
    gr8 job u too !!

    me
    xxx


  • inspired torture
    March 2, 2007

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    Aren't we all seeking reality? And it really hurts to wake up n to find that everything u thought of is only a dream. Then dawn wakes u up to a bitter reality. Shall stay asleep to protect me? To prevent this hurtful awe?


  • Apsinthion
    February 27, 2007

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    yes...

    ~rana~



  • O b l i v i o n
    February 26, 2007

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    amen to that ...
    it reminded me of Alanis Morisette's song "Ironic"

    Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
    He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
    He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
    And as the plane crashed down he thought
    "Well isn't this nice..."


    lol eih??

    OoO


  • gothchyld
    February 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I love it, it sums up the idea of dystopia. Except, being picky with words, I thought you could be more elegant in the last line. And for the fun sake of it, this is my version of utopia, in your style:

    you sleep, you gaze
    you are in blissful ignorance
    in Eden's garden of idealistic havens

    As usual, that would be the cynic version, but having experienced ups and downs in Feb, I can't come up with poem with a happier note.


    • sarajevo
      February 27, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      you see i wrote it pretty fast, it came suddenly and well it just went like that...but for you i'll do my best to better it a bit...you're right i should seek more elegance...
      and you know what ? the cynism of your utopia is a great way to give this some kind of balance i'm gonna add it to this poem and officially thank you for your help...if you dont mind of course


      • gothchyld
        February 27, 2007

        Edit | Reply
        Thank you, of course I won't mind, I finish this piece quickly as well, but you know my quest for perfection/beauty never ends. Somewhat, the combined piece seems to be full of realistic cynicism though!


  • N0sferatu
    February 26, 2007

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    That's why it is very important to dream to imagine and to create.
    But being always in a dream isn't that healthy, we should be bitten by reality to make us feel better when we dream.
    Well done amigo.

    Elie


  • Apsinthion
    February 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    reality bites... big time! heh!
    if only we cud stay on that cloud forever...

    ~rana~




  • XFaLLen-StarX
    February 25, 2007
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    lmao!!! this is too sad yet said in a hilarious way ..
    its kinda true tho .. unless ur stuck in ur dreams.. then here comes the debate again abt the confusion of reality and dreams.. not goin thro that again lol ..

    me..
    xxx

1 - 10 of 10