atop
a mountain,
standing high and mighty,
but alone
in a sea of flatlands.
i stand near
the peak,
grasping it
but standing
tall.
Snow drapes
the rocks around
me, showing only
hints of nakedness.
Up here,
where the air
is thin
and the clouds
are cleaved
by the peak,
is where i feel best.
This is my home.
Author notes
i used to have a psychologist who did that "picture a peacefull pace" stuff, this is what i thought of
In a list
A contest entry
- 300 points ENTER QUICK We're only accepting 10 by smosher.
300 points, ended February 26, 2007, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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I used to live in big sky Montana for awhile 7 years or so, I could write about about how beautiful it was and the wildlife. Better then St. Louis I'd move back any day! I like how you talk about the snow peaks I can remember when spring was coming in if you go up to glacier park you could see snow on the highest mountains and then the weather was fairly chilly but the sun would beam and it was always really green. The farther you went up you'd start to the snow. Then there were giant waterfalls. But could you imagine the 2 way road railing up the sides heh. Nothing like the when I went hiking at the Grand Canyon's This was massive compared.
Anyways I liked this piece it reminds me of my childhood touches a spot really deep. -
I can definately see why this received the gold trophy. The imagery is amazing and the feeling
of peacefulness can be felt throughout. great
job on this one. -
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thanks so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed this
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i think this is really good.its like when your reading it you feel like your there.i like it.
love
Rayraybaby
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Very descriptive and the way it is divided makes that proper pause in a poem. This gives us the feeling of home and being at home. The warmth and bliss within is heartfelt.
Thanks for sharing
VIRGOAN
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Very nice.
I too was published in Challenge International Quarterly, several years ago. It's an interesting magazine.
I have serious reservations about the small "i", since I feel it demeans the author, but other than that, this is a good poem.
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Thanks for the comment! I use the lower cased i in this because I mean to bassicly show that I am not above anything else, and am infact, lower.
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You really deserve the gold trophy for this one. I love this piece! Thank you for sharing this gem.
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Though it near drives me insane that you did not capitalize the pronoun "I," I still like this poem. The third stanza, especially, was eloquent. Your peaceful place is very picturesque. If someone told me to picture a peaceful place, I would probably find myself in a little, empty, white room. Really, nice work, this is a solid piece.
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Thanks for the comment. Trust me, I'm a grammar nut too, but the lower case I was what I meant to do.
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nice
This was nice. I liked it.
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This one here, was ok for me too. It was too simple, and needed that extra 'umph' to give it more of the profound factor. I did enjoy this though.
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Thi is amazing
it is such a creative description and a beautiufl scene you set
I like the inspiration, I can tell you really did picture a peaceful place, as this sounds like bliss
Well done
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nice written
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Its not far out creative or inspired, but its solid.
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lovely
I LOVE THIS PIECE
IT IS OH SO VERY BEAUTIFULL TO READ
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how lovely! This is what I was really looking for in this contest. A descriptive poem about what you picture when you meditate or picture a peacefull image. I really liked this one. A good write and good luck in the contest.
Liz -
lovely, this was my first thought, but too hard to write about.... you did a superb job on it... i felt like i was there...
i love the line standing high and mighty
that's great!!!
? just checking ?
but alone
in a sea of flatlands. ?The image is beautiful too. I'm a MountEverest Freat and always wanted to climb it, but got too old so now i'm settling for smaller climbs --old people climbs.. hehee. Maybe i'll start working on my kids for the Everest climb and I'll follow them to basecamp!!!!
Great luck in the contest although I don't see that you'll need it - and I did not know you had entered and you were helping me (that's sweet : )- thanks again) Dragonfly
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hey i entered this contest to, and i like you i wrote about the place i thought of when my therapist told me to think of a peaceful place this is a great poem!!! good luck (which i don't think u need
)
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wow!
wow am i right to feel a little bit of a metaphor in this poem? very good job!
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