I have seen me now
as others have seen.
The minds fragility
Dark rage, frozen steel
morbidity and crystals of ice.
Always secret, dark and deep.
Burried beneath the sands of memory;
forgotten within my own dark heart
lays this tomb of sorrow, sweet sorrow.
All the words I did not say
the things I never did
and those that I hid
The secrets, the lies;
user or abuser which was I
unknowing and blowing
deaths dark horn
echoing of sorrow, sweet sorrow.
Cold steels warm embrace
a lovers touch at last.
Blood falls upon that which I cannot exhume;
a life . . . the life
gone like smoke in a crack pipe.
Let me kiss my suicide knife
good night.
as silence sings my sorrow
Sweet sorrow.
B.L. House 2007
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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It seems kinda...random to me. I like the repetition because it's not too repetitive yet you can notice it when you're reading. My favorite line has to be
"Let me kiss my suicide knife
good night."
That's a new one that I've never heard before, and I like it. Great imagery, but it just seemed that whenever I pictured something in my head, it would become completely different in the next stanza. Don't know if that was intended or not, but while the stanzas flowed, they just didn't seem to flow "together", if that makes any sense.
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imagery and metaphor used well here to convey the deep senses, suggestion of being victim of own behavior in many ways. Strong and powerful writing...PK
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This write captured me...all this sorrow that you penned here....it looks you had to come from far to write it all down and uncover yourself from it...I hope things are better for you now and you will enjoy life just as you should....speak up your mind
Nomore silence..okay???
Wonderful sad poem,
XXJeannette
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strong images, achingly bled
Why is it, the words you write bite deep. Each click of the keys, stroke of the pen, stabs into things I thought caged away in the hidden dungeons of my soul.
You bring the need to expunge the soul rising to the surface again, My Friend. -
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Thank you dee for the kind words.
So how have you been little wolf sister? -
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~smiles~
I am alive Bro... and still loving your words...
There is a piece on my page that speaks of Pack and Kin... drop by it, eh?
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Whoa-
Powerful verse You have penned and I'm finally getting around to inhaling verses~
The emotions pull the heartstrings and I only wish Happiness my Friend!
It takes strength to pen from paper what Spirit speaks~
Thank You for sharing Your Talent!
Many blessings to You
Best wishes always
and much love~ Desire~*~
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Thank you for the very nice comments they are appreciated alot.
Shadows
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Sad
Sad but deep penning, pulling me through with emotions that lie on the surface as well as in layers of your words. You did an excellent job reaching out and allowing us to feel. Keep up the good work, this was an impacting write. My pleasure to read ~Tia
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Thank you very much Tia for the kind words.
Shadows
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Poignant and sad this is
You expose your heart and its' vulnerability
Excellent writing
Wishing you the best...always
Me
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Thank you sweetheart for the read and just kind of understanding me.
It means so very much.
B -
Thank you very much for the kind words dear lady.
Shadows
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oh my...
this is amazing....
I was sucked into this from beginning...to the very end...
so much raw emotion...
Heidi
**there's a typo in line 1 of stanza 2**
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Thank nyou S.L.
for the kind words and finding that typo.
Shadows
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